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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762008">What Feels Right</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirstOne/pseuds/FirstOne'>FirstOne</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Career, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Catradora Week 2020, Ex Sex, Exes, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, catradora</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:02:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirstOne/pseuds/FirstOne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years after a breakup that left them both shattered, Adora and Catra have to navigate seeing each other again as recruiters at their alma mater's career fair. Can they keep it professional? Or will the attraction pull them back together, only to be torn apart again by the pain of the past?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>H O W D Y. Here I am uploading a whole ass fanfic.<br/>Honestly, it was lots of fun to write and I hope you like it too.<br/>I appreciate any feedback you have, but I'M A PISCES MOON Y'ALL, so please be kind. (Also forgive the typos, plz)<br/>NOTE: This does feature sexually explicit content, drugs, alcohol, and depictions of mental illness &amp; self-harm (Though it does not get overtly graphic.)</p>
<p>~Enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After surviving a breakup that left her shattered, Adora spent the past four years building herself back up and working on her confidence. These days she walked with pride in her step her chin held high. But after she walked through the doors of the convention center and saw Catra, her elegant poise crumbled and she spilled coffee on her shirt. </p>
<p>Adora swore to herself, dabbing the front of her shirt with a wad of cheap paper towels from the bathroom. Stupid. Stupid. She thought harshly.</p>
<p>It was astonishing; the effect the woman still had on Adora. Astonishing and infuriating. </p>
<p>It doesn’t matter. She thought. No. She didn’t even see me, and hey, I’ll just button up this jacket and you can’t even see the stain. Adora buttoned the middle of her jacket and checked herself out in the bathroom mirror. Actually, the jacket had a more sleek, tailored look now. </p>
<p>Adora nodded approvingly to her reflection in the mirror, fixed her posture, and headed out of the bathroom back into the ballroom that was hosting her alma mater’s career fair.</p>
<p>With a fresh cup of coffee in hand, Adora searched for her booth. Once again, she spotted Catra and frowned at the way her heart started to beat faster. </p>
<p>Catra was deep in conversation, laughing at some other recruiter, the one from that smaller, up-and-coming marketing agency in Florida. Still walking to her booth, Adora couldn’t help but check Catra out. They hadn’t seen each other since graduation – 4 years ago now.</p>
<p>Her reaction was mixed. Primarily, Adora was angry. She thought of their last good-bye and it made her blood boil. When they broke up it was on bad terms -- the worst terms possible. </p>
<p>But as much as it irritated Adora to admit, Catra looked good. Like really good. She had always been beautiful, but 4 years ago she had been tangled in a world of drugs and alcohol, treading the line between recreation and addiction. There was a certain light in her eye that Adora hadn’t seen in a long time. And that made Adora… happy.</p>
<p>And she’d cut her hair. It used to be long and messy in a tousled, sexy way. Now it was short and choppy. And still sexy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Adora found her booth, but just as she was about to enter its safety, a voice rang loudly across the hall.</p>
<p>“ADORA!!!” </p>
<p>The gentle hum of agreeable conversations dulled as everyone turned their attention to the source of the noise. Which happened to be Scorpia, who was running to Adora. </p>
<p>There was a big stupid grin on Scorpia’s face as she stomped over, her footsteps echoing throughout the ballroom. Adora bit her lip, determined not to check if Catra was looking at her -- it felt like the entire hall was. </p>
<p>“Scorpia.” She said, hugging her, “I haven’t seen you in so long, how are you?”</p>
<p>“I’m doing great, thank you! This is my first time being a recruiter at one of these things. It feels like just yesterday we were like all those kids lined up outside. All nervous and sweaty.” She wore a fond, nostalgic expression as she looked around the hall.</p>
<p>“Don’t remind me. I used to not be able to sleep the entire week leading up to the career fair.” But the same soft expression flitted across Adora’s face too. “A lot has changed.” I sure have.</p>
<p>“At first I was a little nervous about it all, I mean, what if these kids don’t even like me…wait… IS THAT CATRA?” Scorpia squealed with delight. “CATRA! COME OVER HERE!” </p>
<p>Adora tried to compose herself. Of course, she knew Catra was going to be at the career fair this year, representing Matelo the ad agency she worked for. Being in the same industry, it was inevitable that they’d have to face each other at some point. Adora was determined to show Catra just how much she’d grown since they’d last met. To show her how different Adora is now than the sad, broken girl she left behind all those years ago.</p>
<p>So with a smile, Adora nodded to Catra as she walked over.</p>
<p>“Catra, wow,” Scorpia said with a tight hug. “I love your hair. You look hot!”</p>
<p>“Oh stop.” Catra purred. But she didn’t look the slightest bit bashful at the compliment. </p>
<p>“I heard you got promoted to Senior copywriter at Matelo, is that right??”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Catra glowed. You could tell she was proud of herself. “But that’s nothing compared to what this shining star has done.” Catra finally turned to face Adora. Their eyes locked and the air felt charged with electricity. Adora couldn’t read her expression nor understand what to make of Catra’s piercing gaze.</p>
<p>“Oooooh, yes, Adora. You also got promoted recently, didn’t you? You’re a senior art director now, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>“No. Even better than that. She’s an associate creative director now, right? And that’s hardly the tip of the iceberg.” Catra snorted. “One of her latest commercials just took gold at the Fresh Blood award show, and she’s launched a bunch of pro-bono projects.”</p>
<p>Adora narrowed her eyes. How did she know all that? For years, Adora wondered what it would be like to run into her ex again, but she never thought she would be… praised?</p>
<p>“Holy shit, Adora!” Scorpia exclaimed. “I had no idea. How come you never posted about it? Or put it on your LinkedIn page or something?”</p>
<p>“Oh, well,” Adora said, trying to laugh it off, but she was a little uncomfortable with the attention. “I just never got around to it.”</p>
<p>Her coworker, and longtime friend, Bow, had materialized by her side.</p>
<p>“Got around to what? Sleeping? Taking care of her basic human needs? No, our Adora certainly doesn’t have time for that.” He nudged her side playfully.</p>
<p>“BOW!” Scorpia yelled again, nearly breaking him in half in a giant bear hug.<br/>
“Ouch…Ribs,” he said, with an expression of feigned pain. “It’s good to see you too, Scorpia. And Catra! Good to see you again too.”</p>
<p>Catra rolled her eyes. “Bow’s acting like we don’t have virtual coffee chats every month.”</p>
<p>That was a surprise to Adora. Bow wasn’t just a coworker to her. He was one of Adora’s best friends. It wasn’t often that two students got jobs at the same agency after graduating, so they had been pretty attached at the hips. This information troubled her. He had been fraternizing with the enemy this whole time.</p>
<p>Bow chuckled nervously like he could detect Adora’s alarm. “And Glimmer should be around here somewhere too.” He said, looking around.</p>
<p>“I’m so excited I could scream or cry or both!” Scorpia squealed. “The five of us should get drinks tonight!”</p>
<p>Adora groaned internally. Bow’s eyes widened in delight. “That’s an amazing idea, Scorpia. I’m in! And I bet Glimmer will be down too.”</p>
<p>“What’d ya say Catra, Adora? For old time’s sake?” Scorpia asked with puppy dog eyes as big as saucers.</p>
<p>“Only if we go to El Rocko,” Catra said with a devilish grin.</p>
<p>“Done. Adora?”</p>
<p>There was no easy way to get out of this. But maybe she’d be able to escape early after a drink or two. So instead of frowning like she wanted to, she grinned.</p>
<p>“Count me in.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Catra couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad thing that Adora’s booth was so close to hers. But she had a feeling it wasn’t good that she’d been staring at her throughout the day. It was shocking to see her again. Not surprising, of course. Catra had done her research and knew that Adora was representing Horde Prime at the career fair this year.</p>
<p>But the flurry of emotions that consumed Catra -- the anger, joy, and sadness -- was unexpected. She couldn’t explain it, but she had a strong desire to show Adora how much she’d changed over time. She wanted Adora to see how much better she was doing, that she was okay now.</p>
<p> Adora’s booth had been much busier than Catra’s. But no surprise there. Adora and Bow worked at Horde Prime. Probably the best, most sought-after agency in the country, and the one that was most of the students’ wet dream to work at. 4 years ago, it had been Adora’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And look at her now. Gone was the scrawny, timid dork that she had been in love with so long ago.</p>
<p>Now, the person that she had been staring at all day looked refined and strong. Almost intimidating. Clearly, she had been working out. She looked gorgeous. But Catra couldn’t help but think that in her transformation, she’d left something else behind. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but it made her sad.</p>
<p>Well, just seeing Adora made Catra ache inside. She had the inexplicable urge to wrap her arms around her like she used to. But that was an awful idea unless Catra wanted to get hurt again. Not that it mattered, Adora barely looked at her.</p>
<p>“Helloooo, Earth to Catra.”</p>
<p>Catra snapped her head up at her coworker, Lonnie, who had been recruiting by her side throughout the day.</p>
<p>“Ah, sorry.” Catra said, grinning sheepishly, “What did ya say?”</p>
<p>Lonnie huffed.</p>
<p>“I said, they just announced that they closed the doors for the day. Which means we’re done with the meet and greets but,” she shook the thick stack of papers in her hand, “now we need to sort through these resumes, and pick our selects for interview day on Friday.”</p>
<p>“Ah, yes,” Catra said, rubbing her eyes.</p>
<p>“Today is only the first day of the career fair, remember?”</p>
<p>Catra resisted rolling her eyes. The old Catra probably would have jumped this girl in an alley for talking down to her like that. But the new Catra politely -- with a hint of sass, of course -- replied,</p>
<p>“Yes, Lonnie. I remember. I’m giving a talk tomorrow so I think I’ve got the schedule figured out. After that, the interview day. And then you fly back.”</p>
<p>Lonnie rolled her eyes and divided the stack, pushing half towards Catra.</p>
<p>“There are only 30 time slots available on Friday, so let’s pick our top 15 from each stack, swap, pick our top 15 again, and then compare.”</p>
<p>Catra nodded. She wasn’t thrilled to be doing such tedious work. But her mood improved when she remembered that after this she’d be seeing her old friends. And Adora.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora drummed her fingers absentmindedly against the copper mug of her Moscow Mule. Today had been a long day. She had spoken to a seemingly endless stream of students today until all the faces and names blurred together. She chided herself for being so inattentive at times and vowed to do better on interview day.</p>
<p>The truth was, Catra’s presence had been more of a distraction than Adora expected. Mostly, Adora had been busy looking into the faces of anxious students, but every now and then, she would steal a glance and look over at Catra’s booth. Always taken aback by how different Catra seemed than the last time they saw each other.</p>
<p>Despite her anger, she was glad that Catra seemed to be doing so well. She was in rough shape the last time Adora saw her. </p>
<p>But the day was over and now Adora was facing an even more stressful task than meeting 200 students in one day. Now, she had to socialize. If it was just her old classmates, Adora wouldn’t have minded so much. But the fact that Catra would be there was shaking Adora up more than she cared to admit. Frankly, it was starting to piss her off.</p>
<p>Bow slid into the seat next to Adora and waved to get the bartender’s attention. He changed from his “business-casual” look from earlier, into something more “skater-casual”. In fact, with his vans, ripped jeans, and checkered crop top, he looked the same as he did years ago when they went to this bar in the old days.</p>
<p>“Wow. This place hasn’t changed at all. I wonder if they still have my fake ID.” Bow mused.</p>
<p>Adora grinned despite herself. She was still a little peeved that Bow had been having monthly chats with Catra this whole time. But for tonight, Adora just wanted to relax. Hell, she wanted to let loose. Adora wrapped an arm around Bow.</p>
<p>“Maybe we should see if that cute bartender, Rogelio, still works here.”</p>
<p>Bow looked flustered but grinned anyway. “I almost forgot about Rogelio. Oh, how I used to wish that he would wrap those tree-trunk arms around me and –”</p>
<p>“We’re hereeeeee” squealed, Glimmer who popped up behind Bow, taking the seat on his side. Scorpia sat down next to her, with the widest grin Adora had ever seen. Actually, all three of them looked giddy beyond belief. It was contagious. Adora ordered another drink.</p>
<p>“So, uh Adora,” Bow began nervously, “are you sure you’re gonna be okay with Catra here?”</p>
<p>Scorpia paled, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot that you two dated.” She smacked her forehead, “I am such an idiot.”</p>
<p>“Guys, relax.” Adora said though she was mostly trying to convince herself, “We’re all adults here. It’s fine.”</p>
<p>Glimmer and Scorpia look placated, but Bow narrowed his eyes. </p>
<p>“Really, Bow. It’s fine.” Adora said again, “Now come on, we’re celebrating. It’s the best friend squad reunion.”</p>
<p>“Cheers to that!” Glimmer yelled. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Catra had a feeling her friends would already be pretty buzzed by the time she showed up thirty minutes late. It had taken her a lot longer than she thought to look through all those resumes with Lonnie. But after a few hours, Catra ran back to her hotel to change into something more comfortable. Who am I kidding? Thought Catra. She’d changed into something more…flattering. She was wearing simple skinny jeans, but her red top was long-sleeved with a small slit in the front to show off some cleavage.</p>
<p>Catra always dressed to impress, but today she had ulterior motives. </p>
<p>As she walked in the door, she spotted her group of friends at the bar. Catra took the only open seat, which happened to be next to Adora. The blonde girl was laughing so hard that she hadn’t even noticed Catra was next to her until Bow exclaimed,</p>
<p>“Catra’s here!”</p>
<p>Adora whipped her head around, a stupid grin still on her face. She already looked pretty flushed from drinking, but her cheeks got pinker as she looked Catra up and down, not even noticing how obvious she was being.  </p>
<p>“Indeed I am,” said Catra regally, beyond pleased with Adora’s reaction. </p>
<p>“We’re a few drinks deep my friend, you need to catch up.” Bow said. He turned to get the bartender’s attention.</p>
<p>While his back was turned, Catra lifted a finger under Adora’s chin to close her still gaping mouth. Catra winked at her. Adora looked taken aback at first and then annoyed. She sat up a little straighter.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Adora said, “I’ll have another drink too.”</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for Catra to catch up. But it wasn’t until she was three drinks deep that she realized mixing alcohol with Adora’s proximity was a dangerous combination. And Catra knew a lot about dangerous combinations.</p>
<p>As the bar started to get more crowded, Catra had to sit closer and closer to Adora. At one point she had to sit closer because it was so loud. Now she could smell Adora’s cologne. And after a group of rowdy guys showed up next to her, she had to scoot even closer. </p>
<p>Now she was so close that if she leaned forward only a few inches, she’d be able to kiss that spot on Adora’s neck that Catra knew would drive her crazy. </p>
<p>For a second, Catra allowed her thoughts to entertain that idea. God, she wanted to kiss her so bad. But Catra knew she was playing a dangerous game with herself. Fantasizing about kissing Adora again would get her head and heart in a weird place. Especially since Adora now seemed pretty set on not looking at Catra at all.  </p>
<p>Pretend all she wants. Catra thought. She wants me too. And Catra knew that wasn’t just wishful thinking either. They had dated nearly all four years of college, so Catra was pretty familiar with how this girl worked. Whenever Catra had to lean closer so her friends could hear her, Adora’s mouth would open ever so slightly again. And when Catra leaned over to pick up Adora’s wallet after it fell, Catra could feel Adora’s gaze on her. When they locked eyes, Adora’s pupils were dilated. The sight nearly drove Catra to stop these stupid games and just kiss her.  </p>
<p>But Adora looked away quickly and excused herself to the bathroom.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I know what she’s doing. But it’s not going to work.  Adora thought to herself, gripping the sides of the sink staring at her reflection in the mirror. Why was Catra being like this? She felt a little more clear-headed now that Catra wasn’t basically on top of her. Wrong choice of words. She closed her eyes as that particular vision played in her mind. Stop. She clenched her teeth in frustration. The more important question was, why was her body betraying her like this? As much time as she spent avoiding thinking of Catra over the past 4 years, she wasn’t stupid enough to deny how badly she wanted her now.  </p>
<p>Whatever I’m drunk. Adora thought. And two can play at that game.</p>
<p>As she started back down the hallway, she noticed Catra walking towards her, and a water fountain in between them. Perfect. Adora grinned to herself.</p>
<p>As Adora got to the fountain, she bent over, probably arching her back more than she needed to sip some water.</p>
<p>Catra stood behind her with her eyebrows raised. “Thirsty, are you?” </p>
<p>Adora stood up slowly and looked Catra right in the eyes.<br/>“Nah. I’m all good now. But I will get another drink.”</p>
<p>Adora turned to head back to the bar. Catra grabbed her hand.</p>
<p>“How many drinks have you had, Adora?” she asked softly.</p>
<p>Adora narrowed her eyes.</p>
<p>“A few. Why do you care?”</p>
<p>“Well back in the day, you couldn’t have more than two drinks without being drunk off your ass.”</p>
<p>“That was a long time ago,” Adora said coldly, taking back her hand. “A lot’s changed. Including my tolerance.” Adora headed back towards the bar.</p>
<p>“So I think I’ll have another mule.” She muttered to herself.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Catra wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t like how much Adora was drinking. So she decided to stick to water so she could watch over her. Which turned out to be a good idea since Adora had not one, or two, but three more drinks.</p>
<p>“Last call!” The Bartender yelled.</p>
<p>“Oh, me, me, me!” Adora called out.</p>
<p>“Adora,” Catra said quietly. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.</p>
<p>Adora just rolled her eyes. “When did ya get so boring?” Adora slurred.</p>
<p>Catra pursed her lips. Then Adora looked at her with wide eyes, realizing that she had said exactly what Catra said to her all those years ago. She seemed shocked by herself. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry.” She said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”</p>
<p>Catra felt stung. But she forced a smile anyway.</p>
<p>“That’s alright princess. Let’s just get you back to your hotel.”</p>
<p>After they had all paid their tabs, there was a round of hugs. (Adora and Catra avoided one another) and they all ordered their Ubers.</p>
<p>Bow and Adora were staying at the same hotel, so their car got there first.</p>
<p>“See you tomorrow!” Bow waved.</p>
<p>Scorpia’s ride was next, and then Glimmer’s. Catra’s ride was just pulling up when the bartender ran out yelling,</p>
<p>“Hey, is this your friend’s wallet?”</p>
<p>Catra instantly knew it was Adora’s. She’d been the one picking it up half the night.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she said smiling to the bartender. “I’ll get this back to her.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Freshman Year (FLASHBACK)</p>
<p>As usual, Adora was the first one to show up for class. That’s how it had always been for every single class so far, and today’s Intro to Advertising, taught by Professor Hordak was no different. Adora busied herself by writing in her planner.</p>
<p>Slowly, other students began to fill in the other seats in the classroom. At 10:59 exactly, as the professor was walking over to close the door, a girl ran through.</p>
<p>“Present!” She said, earning a few chuckles from the class. Adora looked up from her planner with interest. The girl had a mane of messy brown hair and eyes that were different colors. She had the aura of someone who had a real sense of who they are, and the confidence to stick by it. Adora was always jealous of girls like this. Confidence was something she struggled with.</p>
<p>Professor Hordak nodded to her.</p>
<p>“Glad you could join us. There’s one seat left open, and it’s right by miss…?” He raised his eyebrows at Adora. The rest of the class turned to look at her too. With a start, Adora replied,</p>
<p>“Grayskull. Adora Grayskull.”</p>
<p>The girl snorted and stalked off towards Adora. </p>
<p>“Hey, Grayskull” the girl smirked, swinging a small bag onto her desk. “I’m Weaver. Catra Weaver.”</p>
<p>Adora just smiled at her. She was getting the impression that the girl was teasing her, yet there was playful light in her eyes. Adora couldn’t help but feel…fondness for her?</p>
<p>Professor Hordak cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“Welcome to your first day of Introduction to Advertising. In this course, you will learn all about the world that is the advertising industry. You’ll learn about copywriters and art directors. And most importantly, you’ll learn how to create conceptual ads that break through the clutter and don’t make people vomit.”</p>
<p>He smiled around the room.</p>
<p>“I’ll be briefing you on your semester project next lesson. But I’ll be pairing you up with your partners today. But first, please get your textbook and read the author’s introduction. In 15 minutes we’ll have a class discussion. I expect everyone to have something to contribute.”</p>
<p>There was a small commotion as nearly everyone dug through their bags to get out their textbooks. Adora’s was already on her desk. The girl, Catra, didn’t reach for hers.</p>
<p>“Professor, I ordered my book online and it hasn’t come in yet.” She said.</p>
<p>“Well, then it looks like you’ll have to ask Miss Grayskull if she’ll let you read hers.”</p>
<p>“Miss Grayskull.” Catra began with an air of pretentiousness. “Would you ever be so kind as to lend me your text literature?”</p>
<p>Adora grinned despite herself.<br/>
“Of course.”</p>
<p>They brought their desks closer together, and Adora opened the book to the right page and moved it to the center of their combined desks. The girls scooted closer, slightly leaning towards one another so they could both see the pages easy enough.</p>
<p>“I read pretty fast.” Catra said smirking, “So you can just flip the pages when you’re ready.”</p>
<p>Adora smirked back at her. “Right well let me know when you need me to flip back. I read pretty fast too.”</p>
<p>Catra’s hemochromatic eyes flashed up to hers. They seemed to analyze Adora with new interest. Smirking, she turned her attention back towards the book.</p>
<p>Adora was trying her absolute hardest to sit still. But suddenly, everything felt so warm. And the air around her felt like it was vibrating. They were close enough that Adora could smell the girl’s perfume and she was finding it to be very distracting. Adora was halfway through the first page when Catra whispered.</p>
<p>“Ready for the next page when you are.”</p>
<p>Shit. This girl really wasn’t kidding. But Adora took sympathy for herself. It’s really not fair when the girl next to me is super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot.</p>
<p>They continued to read page after page, Catra always finishing much faster than Adora until the 15 minutes were up. When the professor had asked for volunteers to share their thoughts with the class, Catra was one of the first people to speak.</p>
<p>By the end of the lesson, Adora had a confusing perception of this girl. On the surface, she looked like one of those kids who were just cool. The kind that exudes confidence and control; that kind that doesn’t bother with smarts and intellect. But she was quick with her answers, and her responses were unique and intelligent. Even the professor looked impressed.</p>
<p>Minutes before the class ended, the professor pulled out a sheet of paper and started to call off the pairings for the semester project. He got to Adora’s name, and her heart leaped in her throat.</p>
<p>“Adora Grayskull and Catra Weaver. And look at that, you’re already sitting together.”</p>
<p>Adora desperately tried to hide the stupid smile that was taking over her face. Unfortunately, Catra noticed. She shoved her shoulder playfully.</p>
<p>“Try not to wet your pants, Grayskull.”</p>
<p>The professor finished calling off the pairings and ended the lesson with one final announcement.</p>
<p>“I suggest you swap contact information now. During the next class, I’ll be briefing you on the assignment. It won’t be due until the end of the semester, but just like the real world, these deadlines will be tight. You do not want to procrastinate.”</p>
<p>“Is that a challenge?” Catra muttered under her breath. Adora had to stifle a laugh.</p>
<p>Finally, the class was over.</p>
<p>“Can I have your number?” Adora asked. “Ya know, for the project.”</p>
<p>“Sure, partner.” Catra winked. “For the project.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Two weeks later, Catra walked into the coffee shop and spotted Adora already at a table in the corner. They were meeting there for their project.</p>
<p>“Sheesh Grayskull. I’m half an hour early and you’re still here before me?”</p>
<p>“Hey, Catra.” Adora said with a warm smile. “I’m early to everything. It’s kind of part of my brand. Why are you here so early?”</p>
<p>Catra looked away. She wasn’t used to having to answer such personal questions and she felt her walls coming up again.</p>
<p>“I uh – well if you must know, I actually have a job interview in a couple of minutes.” She’s probably like every other rich kid here and thinks I’m an alien for needing a part-time job. </p>
<p>Most of the kids at Brightmoon College of Art and Design were rich, or at least their parents were. It irritated the shit out of Catra who had to pay for all these god damn art supplies on her own.</p>
<p>“Catra, that’s awesome! We might even be coworkers. I interviewed yesterday but I’m still waiting to hear back.”</p>
<p>Catra frowned at her. You could just tell that this girl had rich and probably very important parents. You can see it in the quality of her clothes and everything else she owned. Catra couldn’t decide which was more confusing; why this girl needed a job, or why she was staring so…warmly at Catra.</p>
<p>“You…applied?” Catra asked. “I mean you need to work?”</p>
<p>“Well yeah,” Adora said, looking confused. “My bank account won’t fill itself.” A mischievous expression flitted across her face, and she whispered “I’m trying to order a fake ID. And those are expensive.”</p>
<p>Catra actually laughed at this. </p>
<p>“You’re trying to get a fake ID? You? Adora Grayskull. Hitting the clubs?”</p>
<p>Catra’s stomach fluttered as Adora pouted in a frown. She doesn’t realize how adorable she is. </p>
<p>“I like to have fun sometimes. And ya know, dance. Drink. Smoke.” Now it was Adora’s turn to look away.</p>
<p>“Adora, I would pay great money to see that. So maybe I’ll see you out one night.”</p>
<p>Catra smirked and turned away, looking for the manager. “I’ll be back after I get this job.”</p>
<p>“It’s only an interview. You probably won’t know until they call back in a few days.”</p>
<p>Catra rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“Sure, Grayskull. I’ll be back after I get this job.”</p>
<p>Catra walked away, but when she got to the counter and glanced back, she swore she caught the blonde girl checking her out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning was rough. If Adora had it her way, she would have slept through the afternoon. But her nausea, vertigo, and god-awful breath had other ideas. So, she rolled out of bed at 6:45 am, brushed her teeth, and forced down some water and crackers.</p>
<p>Her mind felt muddy. She felt like she was looking at last night's events through the lens of an old camera. Surprisingly it had been a lot of fun. Adora hardly went out with friends even when she was at home in Portland. So the evening had been much-needed.</p>
<p>Even Catra’s presence hadn’t bothered Adora that much. It was just annoying that she was supposed to be avoiding her when really she wanted to bring her back to this hotel room and ---</p>
<p>Woah, Adora thought. Let’s not go there.</p>
<p>Eventually, Adora figured she might as well get ready. She planned to take a quick shower and begin prepping for the talk that she would be giving to the students later in the day.</p>
<p>As she turned the water on and waited for it to heat up, she looked around the bathroom. She hadn’t had a chance to appreciate its grandeur. The floor was the kind of heated tile that rich people installed in their homes, the granite countertops featured a double vanity, and there was a little Bluetooth stereo blinking in the corner. </p>
<p>This was one of the many benefits of working for Horde Prime. Getting set up at the best hotels, flying to exotic locations for shoots, and a paycheck of more money than Adora could ever dream of spending.</p>
<p>Sure I work 80 hours a week, but at least I get to stay in fancy hotels, right? </p>
<p>She connected her phone to the speaker. Adora wasn’t in the mood for sappy, slow music so she picked a playlist she knew was a little more energizing.  </p>
<p>By now the bathroom was warm and steamy so Adora figured the water would be hot enough for her. After stepping in, Adora just closed her eyes for a while, enjoying the feel of water running down her back.</p>
<p>Slowly, a few more memories started to filter through her mind. The first one had been from when Adora turned around and saw Catra behind her. Oh, God. Adora thought. She looked so fucking hot last night. She thought about the way her jeans hugged her hips, and how badly Adora wanted to wrap her own hands around Catra’s waist. And that shirt. Adora’s heart fluttered just thinking about it. She felt like she had been transported back to eight years ago when she had been such a geek, always gawking at Catra like she was some goddess on Earth.</p>
<p>The bar had been crowded last night. Adora thought she’d be able to handle sitting inches from Catra, but there were moments that had been painful. The attraction was unexpected. But nonetheless, the pull was strong. It took nearly all of Adora’s willpower to keep her gaze on her other friends, and not roaming across Catra.</p>
<p>Toxic by 2WEI started to play next on the speaker. Adora froze. This song? Of all the songs this one has to come on? </p>
<p>Adora knew that she should probably skip it. But it eased into the chorus and Adora couldn’t bring herself to stop listening. And the more she listened, the more memories came back. And not just from last night. But from when Catra and Adora were still together. Specifically, together in the bedroom… or the kitchen… or the car.</p>
<p>Adora’s breathing got heavier as she replayed some of those memories in her head. And the more she let her brain wander down this dangerous path, the warmer she felt. And more and more she felt an aching sensation deep in her stomach.</p>
<p>Since breaking up, Adora had hooked up with a lot of people. But no one fucked like Catra.</p>
<p>Adora’s left hand started to trace her stomach, slowly moving down to her thighs. She imagined it was Catra’s hands instead of her own.</p>
<p>Somewhere in her brain was a small voice screaming, stop! But Adora was unraveling. The rational parts of her brain were dimmed to mere background noise. She felt like she was feeding a starving creature.</p>
<p>Distantly, she heard knocking on the door. Adora was inclined to ignore it at first. Hoping it was just hotel staff and that they’d leave. But the knocking persisted, so Adora shut off the water and hastily wrapped a towel around her. It’s probably Bow, checking to see if I’m still alive.</p>
<p>But when Adora opened the door, it wasn’t Bow.</p>
<p>“Catra.” Adora said breathlessly.</p>
<p>For once in her life, Catra was speechless. Her lips were apart as her eyes traveled across Adora’s still wet, basically-naked body before looking away completely. Adora had never seen Catra look so…embarrassed?</p>
<p>“I-uh.” Catra cleared her throat, “You left your wallet at the bar last night. I just wanted to get it back to you. Bow told me your room number.”</p>
<p>“Oh shit, I didn’t even notice. Thanks.” Adora took the wallet from Catra. For a second, their fingertips touched, and it had an instant effect on both women. Catra looked Adora in the eyes again, pupils dilated.</p>
<p>“I thought you were Bow… or else I would have put some actual clothes on,” Adora said awkwardly.</p>
<p>Catra smiled her usual, I can read exactly what’s on your mind smile, and said “I’m sure, Adora.” But she looked troubled and a second later added on,</p>
<p>“Actually, I’m sorry. For how I was acting last night. I uh – I promise I’m going to be on my best behavior for the rest of our time here.” She smiled sheepishly.</p>
<p>But Adora thought her expression looked a little sad. “Oh, okay.” Was all she said in response.</p>
<p>“Anyways,” Catra said with a little more enthusiasm, “I still need to write my speech for the talk later. But I’ll see you on the panel.”</p>
<p>She lingered a second longer, a hint of sadness still in her eyes. And then she started to turn away.</p>
<p>“Catra,” Adora said quickly, “Thanks. Thanks for dropping off my wallet, and uh – helping keep me in line last night.”</p>
<p>Catra smiled.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it.” And she turned away again, walking down the hallway and out of sight.</p>
<p>As Adora closed the door behind her, she felt troubled by how conflicting her thoughts were. Catra said she was going to be on her best behavior. But there was a small part in Adora’s brain that couldn’t help thinking, maybe I don’t want her to be.<br/>***</p>
<p>Back in her own room, it took a while for Catra to get her bearings back together after seeing Adora. After seeing so much of Adora. She already looked pretty incredible in clothes that hardly revealed any skin. But with nothing but a towel – a towel that was way too small for such a tall woman –Catra thought she was going to combust on the spot. Her arms were lean and muscular; her long legs toned beyond imagination.</p>
<p>But it wasn’t just the physical attraction that was worrying Catra the most; it was the “something more” that Catra was starting to ache for. It was the desire to just be with Adora. To hold her.  When Catra’s eyes started to sting, she knew she had let herself get too carried away in her thoughts.</p>
<p>So she decided to busy herself by creating an outline for her talk in a few hours. She had a pretty good idea of what her topic was going to be for a while, but now she just wanted to lay out a few talking points. <br/>Catra felt pretty happy about the final product when she had finished. Sure it’ll be nothing compared to Adora’s. She thought. She’ll probably talk about ‘how to squeeze 120 hours of work into 8’ or ‘why you should always say YES to the extra job’.</p>
<p>Catra had never done anything else like this yet. Matelo, the agency she worked at was pretty good but nowhere near as prestigious as Horde Prime; whose employees were asked to give presentations pretty often.  But being at a smaller agency had actually worked in Catra’s favor.</p>
<p>Even when she was at a junior position years ago, she’d been given a lot of client work – opportunities to prove herself. And after the shitshow that was her senior year, she was lucky she had been given a chance at all.</p>
<p>Catra really didn’t like the person that she used to be. But she liked who she was now. And her company, the folks who overlooked everything that was wrong with Catra, and looked at her potential instead, were a pretty big part of her transformation.</p>
<p>She was hoping that sharing her journey today would help inspire some of the students. If not today, she had more opportunities; Catra had been asked to stay an extra week to be the copywriter alumni mentor. So if she could spark something for at least one student while she was reviewing portfolios and offering sage advice, that’d be enough for her.</p>
<p>Catra stacked up her note cards, put on her blazer, and headed for the door.<br/>Alright, Weaver. Let’s crush this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Catra, over here!” Scorpia waved eagerly as Catra entered the auditorium.</p>
<p>“Good to see everyone’s still alive.” She said to her group of friends. “Where’s Bow?”</p>
<p>“Re-doing his hair.” Said Adora “Making sure it’s perfectly coiffed.”</p>
<p>Catra didn’t know why she was so surprised that Adora had responded to her, but after remembering that she’d seen her wearing nothing but a towel, she looked away.</p>
<p>Bow joined their group a few moments later.</p>
<p>“How do I look?”</p>
<p>“Bow, you look absolutely dapper.” Glimmer said. “You three are gonna crush those presentations.”</p>
<p>“Yes!” Scorpia added. “I’m gonna sit in the audience and take notes.”</p>
<p>“Scorpia, you really don’t have to do that,” Adora said, crossing her arms with embarrassment. “This isn’t a TedTalk.”</p>
<p>“Speak for yourself, Adora. This is my public speaking debut.” Bow said.</p>
<p>“And I’m sure you’ll be fabulous.” Glimmer replied with a smile. “We’ll be watching from the crowd! Scorpia, let’s go grab some seats now before they let the students in.”</p>
<p>“Good luck guys!” Scorpia said, waving so hard that Catra wondered if she would sprain her wrist.</p>
<p>Adora excused herself to the bathroom.</p>
<p>“Ready?” Bow asked Catra. “Or are you gonna just make it up as you go?”</p>
<p>Catra shoved his shoulder. “Of course I’m ready. I finished this morning.”</p>
<p>“Nice! That’s pretty early for you. Are we still on for drinks later?”</p>
<p>Usually, Bow and Catra would catch up over online coffee chats, but knowing they’d both be in town, they’d planned to catch up over drinks for a night.</p>
<p>“Of course. The bar at your hotel, right?”</p>
<p>“That’s the one.” </p>
<p>Catra smiled. She was excited to talk to Bow again. Sure, they’d been chatting at least once a month for four years now, but Catra had the tendency to turn their “coffee chats” into “Adora chats” since that’s usually who they talked about most of the time. </p>
<p>“I think they’re calling us to head to the panel.” Bow shot her an excited look.</p>
<p>“Let’s tell these kids what’s up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Despite the fact that this had been her 15th or 16th talk, Adora hated public speaking. Still, she wasn’t about to turn down her alma mater when they asked. </p>
<p>Actually, in Adora’s opinion, this was going to be pretty easy. The assignment was simple; they were asked to take all of their learnings from working in the industry and boil it down into one piece of advice for the students. Plus, they were advised to keep it to only 5 minutes.</p>
<p>She took a seat in between Bow and Catra. They were joined by two other people that Adora didn’t know. The Emcee, the dean of all communication majors, took the stage with mic in hand.</p>
<p>“Alright, alright, thank you ladies and gentlemen for joining us for today’s Q &amp; A session with some of our esteemed alumni and guests. I know that all of the students are going to be perfect audience members.”</p>
<p>He gave the crowd a tight smile.</p>
<p>“We’ll begin with a short word from each of our guests and then take questions from you all. So first up, please give a warm welcome to our first speaker, Perfuma from The Willow Group.”</p>
<p>Adora listened intently to the first and second speech. Or at least, she pretended to listen. Truthfully, she was practicing her own lines in her head. </p>
<p>When Bow took the stage, Adora actually listened, of course. Her chest filled with pride as her best friend delivered an awesome speech and returned to his seat amid generous applause.</p>
<p>Catra’s name was called, and Adora’s eyes were glued on her from when she was seated to when she took center stage. She wasn’t exactly sure why, but she felt nervous for her. Not that she needed to be. Catra was a natural in front of others. She took the mic with ease.</p>
<p>“Thank you, dean. And thank you to all of you sitting in the audience today. You definitely didn’t have to. You didn’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn to start getting ready, or spend weeks debating over white or off-white resume paper.”</p>
<p>Adora grinned as the audience laughed.</p>
<p>“But you’re here. So seriously, thanks.” Catra paused as she looked into the crowd.</p>
<p>“We’re supposed to be giving career advice I guess. But my spiel might teeter the line of life advice too, so bear with me.</p>
<p>Many years ago, I was in your shoes, and let me tell you…I was a mess. Maybe not all 4 years of school, but certainly by my senior year.”</p>
<p>Adora stilled, wondering where this was going.</p>
<p>“And that’s okay. Life is weird sometimes, that’s just how it is. So when you think you or your life is a mess – whatever that looks like for you – I hope you will remember these words. Never give up on yourself.</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter how much you mess up or think you’re not “good enough,” as long as you believe you’re worth working on, you can grow from just about anything.”</p>
<p>Catra smiled sheepishly at the crowd.</p>
<p>“So that’s really all I got. Be nice to yourself.” </p>
<p>Catra bowed and the students clapped enthusiastically. Adora was surprised by the speech. Not because it was good. But because of the message itself. The Catra that Adora had known would have balked at anything that sounded so…sweet.</p>
<p>Somewhere deep inside, Adora felt something stir. Long ago, she used to wish for nothing else but for Catra to get better. To heal so they could be together again. But that was a long time ago and the longing had been buried over time.</p>
<p>Catra caught Adora’s eye as she was returning to her seat. Adora gave her a warm nod.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Catra applauded along with the audience when Adora was called to take the mic. Catra stared at her, feeling like it was a rare moment where she was allowed to. In fact, it would have been positively rude if she looked anywhere but Adora. So catra’s eyes were trained on her.</p>
<p>She knew how much Adora hated public speaking, so Catra was more nervous for her than she had been for her own talk.</p>
<p>“Hello everyone,” Adora began nervously. “Again, thank you so much for showing up today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Since Adora was from Horde Prime, most of the students were leaning forward with wide, eager eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“When I learned that I would have the honor of speaking to you all today, I thought for a long time about what would be the best, most efficient advice to give. I thought about the importance of scheduling and deadlines or how key a strong portfolio is. But what I landed on, is something that we don’t talk about enough.”</p>
<p>Adora glanced back at Catra and grinned.</p>
<p>“I guess I had the same idea as Miss. Weaver, because my advice starts to blend with life advice too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You are all embarking on an exciting new chapter, and I’m sure you’re nervous as hell. You’re probably considering all these different jobs and different companies and you’re thinking of a million factors like pay, location, or even just the name of the company itself. But my advice is to consider one additional factor.”</p>
<p>Her expression got a shade more serious,</p>
<p>“Think about what is going to actually make you happy.”</p>
<p>As Adora paused, a silence fell over the audience like a heavy blanket. Even Catra was confused. This was very un-Adora-like.</p>
<p>“I say this because I don’t want you all to wake up one day and realize that there never was a payoff for all the long hours and extra jobs. Your happiness is fragile. More than that, it’s 100% yours to have, but you have to stand up for it.</p>
<p>So say no when you need to. Remember that there is a whole life outside of work. Protect your happiness.”</p>
<p>Adora did a dorky little bow and handed the mic back to the dean. The reaction in the audience was mixed; some students were beaming at her, others look perplexed, almost troubled by this advice. The applause was loud regardless.</p>
<p>As Adora returned to her seat, Catra couldn’t help but notice a layer of sadness underneath her smile. She almost reached out to squeeze her hand, to let her know that she was there. Like they used to comfort each other years ago. Instead, she just clapped.</p>
<p>The emcee began talking to the students again, but Catra’s mind was elsewhere as a few things became clear to her. The first was that her Adora was hurting. The second was that Catra still had feelings for her, no matter how much that terrified her. And the third, and saddest of all, was that this blonde woman sitting next to Catra, wasn’t her Adora anymore.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Freshman year (FLASHBACK)</p>
<p>Catra was just turning the corner when she heard a voice yell from behind her. </p>
<p>“Heyyy, Catraaa!” </p>
<p>Catra turned and saw Adora in a crop top and ripped skinny jeans, stumbling outside of El Rocko, waving to her. Usually, Adora wore a sweatshirt and tied her hair up in a tight ponytail. Now her hair fell loose around her shoulders in elegant, easy waves. The dorky girl looked… hot. Catra wasn’t sure why seeing the girl suddenly boosted her mood, but she started walking towards her anyway.</p>
<p>“Hey, Adora.” </p>
<p>“I know you said you’d pay money to see me at the club, but I’ve thought about it, and…” Adora looked like she was thinking very hard.</p>
<p>“Ya know what... You can see me for free.”</p>
<p>Catra burst out laughing. “Grayskull, you are a riot. I need to hang around you more.” </p>
<p>Beaming, Adora hooked an arm around her and steered her back towards the club. </p>
<p>“Believe it or not, I like to dance. I was dancing when I saw you through the window, so I ran out here. I think I pushed someone. Anyways, you gotta dance with me it’s so fun. The lights and the music are so nice, you can feel them here.”</p>
<p>Adora took Catra’s hand and placed it lightly on her chest. </p>
<p>“Adora, are you on something?”</p>
<p>She looked thoughtful.</p>
<p>“Ohh yes. I think I am. I split a brownie with my friend Bow. Come on! You gotta meet him.”</p>
<p>Still holding Catra’s hand, Adora led her through the crowd of drunken college students and to the center of the dance stage where her friends were dancing.</p>
<p>“Heyyyy Adora.” They said in unison. </p>
<p>“Catra, this is Bow and Glimmer. Bow and Glimmer, this is Catra! My partner from ad class.” And with a whisper that wasn’t so quiet at all, she added, “The one I told you about.”</p>
<p>Their eyes widened. Bow stuck out his hand,</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you, Catra! You gotta dance with us.”</p>
<p>“Yesss girl, I just requested a song.” Glimmer shouted over the music. </p>
<p>“Well, alright then, maybe for a few songs,” Catra said grinning. </p>
<p>The four of them danced together. Separate at first, just moving around like idiots. But as the night went on, Catra and Adora started to dance closer and closer together.</p>
<p>Toxic by 2WEI started to blare over the speakers. Catra spun around and let her back fall against Adora’s chest. They danced in unison, their hips grinding together. Catra could feel Adora’s warm breath on her neck, and her hands gripping Catra’s waist. </p>
<p>Of course she knew the idiot had a crush on her. That was clear as day. But it wasn’t until Adora had called out Catra’s name a few hours ago that Catra realized she was into the tall blonde girl too. She was cute in a nerdy way, and she seemed to be able to keep up with Catra just fine. </p>
<p>“Let’s get out of here,” Adora whispered in her ear.</p>
<p>It was pretty rare that other people had an effect like that on Catra. It was a little unnerving actually. Especially since Catra responded “My place.” without a second thought. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Adora woke up to soft light filtering through dark blue curtains the next morning. At first, she thought she was home. But then she heard a light snore next to her. To her right, Catra was still sleeping, all curled up and cute. Catra was probably rarely described as cute. Hot or gorgeous was more apt. But in her sleeping state, Adora’s heart felt like it was melting. And then she actually realized where she was. Holy shit. I’m in Catra’s bed. </p>
<p>Looking around, everything seemed perfectly normal. Adora examined herself. She was wearing a huge tee-shirt and her underwear, but her legs were bare.</p>
<p>As if sensing her accelerated heartbeat, Catra’s eyes slowly opened. </p>
<p>“Hey, princess.”</p>
<p>“Princess?”</p>
<p>Catra snorted, sitting up to lean on one arm. </p>
<p>“Hey, you’re the one who demanded I address you that way.”</p>
<p>“I did?” Adora was having a hard time remembering last night’s events. </p>
<p>“Yes. You were all like, ‘I feel like a bad bitch tonight. Call me princess or don’t call me at all.’ It was very funny actually.”</p>
<p>Adora’s face felt warm with embarrassment. She was starting to remember that now. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Catra said, reaching out gently to turn Adora’s head towards her, “I had a lot of fun last night. Thank you for forcing me to dance with you.” </p>
<p>Adora smiled softly but looked back down at her bare legs.</p>
<p>“Uh- did we..?”</p>
<p>“No. You were drunker than I thought. I just helped you out of your clothes and put you to bed.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Adora said, forcing herself to look at Catra again. The girl looked so sincere. But maybe she didn’t want to sleep with Adora anyway. Maybe she was just being nice. </p>
<p>As if reading her thoughts, Catra rolled her eyes and said,</p>
<p>“Trust me. I was making a noble decision. Not the one I wanted to make. Especially with you in nothing but my shirt.” </p>
<p>Catra laughed as Adora blushed furiously. </p>
<p>“Get it together, Grayskull.” She started getting out of bed. “I’m gonna make coffee, you want some?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes please.”</p>
<p>“Cool. I’ll be back. There should be a spare toothbrush in the bathroom too.”</p>
<p>Adora almost drooled as she watched Catra walk away in nothing but a sports bra and underwear. </p>
<p>Twenty minutes later, Adora was sitting on the couch, coffee in hand, chatting with Catra about anything and everything. She was surprisingly so easy to talk to. They’d been meeting up for a few months now for their class project, but Adora had kept them pretty focused on the task at hand. </p>
<p>As Adora was explaining her deep love for a Korean designer that she was obsessed with, she couldn’t help but notice how Catra was staring at her. She wasn’t sure if anyone had ever looked at her like that. </p>
<p>After a while, Catra asked, “Can I try something?” Maybe it was her husky tone, or how electric the air seemed to feel, but Adora felt her heart rate pick up. </p>
<p>“Of course.” She said breathlessly. </p>
<p>Catra leaned over and kissed her. Nothing had ever felt so perfect to Adora. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces. And it was seamless for Catra to move so she was straddling Adora on the couch.</p>
<p>Adora rested her hands on Catra’s waist and deepened the kiss. A low purr rumbled from Catra’s throat. </p>
<p>Catra leaned down and started to kiss Adora’s jawline. Slowly, she moved over to kiss the softest part of her neck. Adora let a small moan. She was flushed with lust and embarrassment, but still brought herself to whisper,</p>
<p>“I’m not drunk now, ya know...”</p>
<p>Catra laughed, looking more and more...hungry. She stepped off the couch and held a hand out for Adora.</p>
<p>“Then get back to bed.” </p>
<p>Adora took her hand and stood up clumsily. Together they walked back to Catra’s room.</p>
<p>“You’ve done this before, right, princess?” Catra asked with a devilish grin.</p>
<p>Adora rolled her eyes, “Yes, Catra, I’ve done this before.” As she closed the door behind them, the tension in the room intensified. </p>
<p>Catra held Adora against the door and started kissing her again. At first, their hands were still together, but slowly Adora moved her hand and rested it on Catra’s waist, pulling their bodies closer together.</p>
<p>Adora wanted to play it cool, but she was getting needier by the second. And it only got worse when Catra started to kiss her neck again. She let out a small moan and she could feel Catra smirking against her neck.</p>
<p>Catra’s hands started to trace around the edges of Adora’s shirt, where some skin was peeking out. Adora shuddered. Swiftly, Catra pulled off Adora’s shirt and stepped back to admire the girl in front of her. Adora felt so exposed and vulnerable, Catra looked awed. </p>
<p>“Adora..” Catra started to say, “you are stunning.”</p>
<p>Adora blushed furiously, and the look in Catra’s eyes made her feel weak. Catra spun them around and pushed Adora on the bed, crawling on top of her, claiming her mouth again. </p>
<p>“Catra” Adora moaned, “I want to see you.” </p>
<p>Catra pulled off her sports bra and watched Adora’s reaction beneath her. Adora figured she looked like an idiot as she sat there with her mouth open in awe. There was a gorgeous woman on top of her. Deep in her belly, Adora could feel an insatiable need growing stronger by the second.</p>
<p>Adora’s hand traveled from Catra’s waist to her chest, until she was cupping Catra’s breast. Catra took Adora’s other hand and traced it up her body until both of Adora’s hands were on her chest. Catra arched her back, leaning into Adora’s hands.<br/>Suddenly, their energy was shifting. It was becoming more intense. Adora started to kiss Catra’s neck, but a few seconds later, her lips traveled down until she was kissing her breasts - until she was flicking her tongue across one of Catra’s nipples while her thumb played with the other. </p>
<p>Catra groaned, obviously savoring the feeling. Her hands gripped Adora’s waist and slowly traveled to her thighs. Catra traced her nails along Adora’s thighs until she reached the point where they met. She pressed a few fingers against Adora’s underwear and her eyes widened when she realized they were already soaked through. </p>
<p>“You’re so wet, Adora, do you want me to fuck you?”</p>
<p>Adora looked up at Catra and squirmed. “Yes. Please” she said, her voice low and dripping with need.</p>
<p>Catra pushed Adora back until she was flat on the bed and they were lying on top of one another, chest to chest. </p>
<p>They kissed again, tongues intertwining as Catra pushed Adora’s underwear aside and started to gently press on her clit. Slowly, she pushed down more and started to rub her in circles. </p>
<p>Adora moaned loudly into Catra’s mouth. Catra rubbed faster and faster, keeping her mouth on Adora’s, while her other hand traced delicately around Adora’s breast.</p>
<p>“Catra, please” Adora begged. Her voice was so desperate that Catra instantly ripped off her underwear and started traveling down her body until her mouth took her hands’ place. </p>
<p>Catra swirled her tongue around, making eye contact with Adora the entire time. She sucked and flicked her tongue until Adora’s legs were vibrating around her head. Catra kept going, faster with more pressure. </p>
<p>Adora couldn’t watch anymore, she flung her head back and moaned loudly. </p>
<p>“Please don’t stop, Catra.”</p>
<p>Catra smirked, she continued her gentle assault. Adora could feel herself building up inside. Everything just felt so good, so fucking amazing. Despite herself, Adora’s hips started to grind against Catra’s face, trying to keep up with her rhythm. </p>
<p>Everything was building up inside her. Her breathing was getting ragged. The pressure was increasing until she couldn’t take much more. She found her release. </p>
<p>It was glorious, maybe the best that Adora had ever felt. She felt like she was flying and falling at the same time.</p>
<p>“Catra!” She yelled.</p>
<p>Catra kept going but followed Adora’s rhythms, slowing down as Adora’s orgasm was ending. After, she kissed her thighs gently. </p>
<p>Adora was still breathing heavily, and her chest was splotchy from all the build-up, but she leaned forward to look at Catra. </p>
<p>“Oh my god, Catra. That was incredible.”</p>
<p>Catra, basking in Adora’s glow, crawled up and rested her head on Adora’s chest. She could hear how fast the girl’s heart was still beating. Adora’s hands traced up and down Catra’s back, making her shudder. They stayed like that for a few minutes.</p>
<p>Gently, Adora lifted Catra’s chin so she could kiss her. It deepened and Adora could feel Catra’s heartbeat picking up. </p>
<p>As they kissed, Adora’s hand glided down Catra’s body until her fingers were pressed against the outside of Catra’s underwear. Adora groaned and then smiled wickedly.</p>
<p>“You’re soaked baby, do you like fucking me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, hearing you scream my name does that to me.”</p>
<p>Adora closed her eyes for a second, but when she opened them again her gaze was even more intense. </p>
<p>“Take these off. And sit on my face.”</p>
<p>Catra blushed. Clearly, she was used to being the one who called the shots. But she slid off her underwear and started kissing Adora again. Catra wrapped her hand around her neck as Adora gently pressed her hand against where her underwear used to be. Catra leaned into her hand, moaning. </p>
<p>Catra seemed like she was already so revved up from fucking Adora, she wasn’t sure how much she could take. Slowly, she began to move forward until she was directly over Adora’s face. </p>
<p>Adora looked into her eyes as she started to lick around her clit. She was light at first, using the tip of her tongue, making Catra squirm. Then, Adora pressed her entire tongue against Catra and started to gently suck. </p>
<p>This went on for a few minutes, Adora teasing her with the tip of her tongue, then making her weak with full pressure. </p>
<p>Adora could feel Catra’s legs tense on either side of her face. Her hips started to move with Adora’s rhythm. </p>
<p>Adora’s eyes still held Catra’s as she eased a finger into Catra. </p>
<p>Catra threw her head back. “Fuck baby, yes.”</p>
<p>Adora pumped her finger in and out slowly, feeling Catra get tighter and tighter around her.</p>
<p>“Cum for me, Catra.” Adora whispered as she slid in another finger, massaging Catra’s insides. </p>
<p>Catra didn’t have a choice. Her breathing was getting heavier. Her legs were getting tenser and tenser until -- she exploded around Adora.</p>
<p>It was glorious, watching Catra unravel on top of her. She called something out. Was it Adora’s name? She couldn’t remember. Everything was happening in a rush.</p>
<p>Adora slowed down as Catra’s orgasm was ending. Catra collapsed on top of her, resting her head next to Adora’s, still catching her breath. </p>
<p>“You do know what you’re doing,” Catra said weakly, nuzzling into Adora’s neck.</p>
<p>Adora wrapped her arms around Catra, “So do you.”</p>
<p>Catra turned her head so she could look Adora in the eyes. Adora smiled shyly at her. They kissed and spent the rest of the morning intertwined in Catra’s bed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Catra couldn’t remember a time when she had ever been so happy as she had been the last few weeks. And that was a big deal for her. Generally, she felt like a shitty person. All thanks to her mom, of course. </p>
<p>Adora was the first person who made her feel good. Like Catra could do or be anything she wanted. She made Catra feel worthwhile. </p>
<p>She and Adora had been attached at the hips. They’d gone to the park and the beach and hung out with Bow and Glimmer all the time.  They’d been together almost every night. </p>
<p>Today they were meeting at a coffee shop that they both worked at, though neither of them was scheduled today. But with only a couple of weeks left in the semester, they really needed to finish up their project.</p>
<p>Her boss, an overly-friendly southern woman waved at Catra as she entered. She walked to their usual table. Adora was, of course, already there. They kissed as Catra sat down.</p>
<p>“Hey princess.”</p>
<p>Adora rolled her eyes. Ever since that drunken night, that nickname stuck around. </p>
<p>“Hey, Catra. I got you a drink.”</p>
<p>“Why, thank you. I didn’t sleep that much last night.” She looked at Adora mischievously.</p>
<p>“Hmmmm, I wonder why,” Adora responded playfully, a slight flush appearing on her cheeks. </p>
<p>“Probably because my girlfriend wanted a round two, and three and four.”</p>
<p>Adora’s eyes widened, but she was grinning like an idiot.</p>
<p>“Girlfriend?”</p>
<p>“Oh shit. I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.” Catra looked embarrassed, a rare sight for her. “I mean unless you wanted me to.”</p>
<p>Adora reached for her hand across the table. </p>
<p>“I’d love that.”</p>
<p>Catra beamed at her, with an uncharacteristic trace of shyness.</p>
<p>“Okay cool, because I’d really like that too.”</p>
<p>For an hour or so, Adora kept them focused on their project. Every now and then they’d reach out to hold hands, often without even thinking about it. When Adora was happy with the progress they had made, she allowed the conversation to shift. </p>
<p>“Have you thought any more about winter break?” Adora asked delicately. She’d been hoping that Catra would join her at her family’s Ski resort, but the idea was freaking Catra out.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, Adora” she said uncomfortably. “I just have absolutely nothing to give you or your family in return. And I bet like each meal costs at least thirty bucks or something.”</p>
<p>“Catra, my family owns the resort. Trust me it’s not a big deal.” </p>
<p>Catra picked at one of her nails. The problem was that, to Catra, it was a big deal. It was a massive reminder that she would never be good enough for Adora; that she would always be dating a girl who was impossibly out of her league.</p>
<p>Adora sighed. </p>
<p>“Please, Catra? One day you’re gonna be a rich, successful copywriter and then you can buy your own ski resort, and then you can return the favor. Besides, it’s going to be so romantic. Think about all the fun we could have in a private room, in front of the fireplace.”</p>
<p>“First of all, copywriters don’t make that much money,” Catra said, but there was a small smile on her face now. “But if you really want me to. If it’s really not a big deal. Then okay.” She still looked a little troubled. “I’ll need to let my mom know.”</p>
<p>This was the biggest barrier for Catra. She tried to avoid talking to her mom as much as possible. Every conversation always left Catra feeling low about herself. Her mom was particularly good at finding the best way to crush a person’s spirit.</p>
<p>“My parents can talk to her, they’ll make sure she knows you’ll be taken care of.”</p>
<p>“No!” Catra cried with fear in her eyes. A normal reaction she had whenever her mom was brought up. Which was not often. She softened.</p>
<p>“Thank you. But it’s better if I just talk to her. And thank you for letting me come with you, seriously. I’m sorry I’m being a brat.”</p>
<p>Adora smirked.</p>
<p>“Of course, babe. Every top needs her bratty bottom.”</p>
<p>Catra laughed with mild outrage. “Who are you calling a bottom, princess??”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With her laptop in one arm, Adora made her way to the bar in the hotel lobby. </p>
<p>Tonight, she just wanted a quiet night to herself. It had been declared that tomorrow the “reunited best friend squad” as Bow had called them, would be having a cookout on the beach after the career fair was over. So Adora figured she might as well save her energy this evening. Besides, she needed to review a few portfolios ahead of the interviews happening tomorrow. </p>
<p>Admittedly, she was excited for the hangout tomorrow. Adora really missed her friends. She missed acting her age and just laughing. Everyone would be heading back to their respective towns the next day. Well, not Adora. She had been asked to be the art director alumni mentor. So she would be staying an extra week, but all alone after her friends left. </p>
<p>As she was sipping her martini, someone tapped her lightly on the shoulder.</p>
<p>“Mind if I join?”</p>
<p>Adora turned around and saw Catra, wearing an elegant cocktail dress. She looked stunning.  Adora’s eyes almost popped out of her head. She herself was wearing the same button-up shirt from earlier, now with the top three buttons undone.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure.” She said, her voice cracking. </p>
<p>Light danced in Catra’s eyes.</p>
<p>“I won’t bother you for too long. Bow and I are meeting up here for a drink or two.”</p>
<p>“Ah yes, your little ‘chats’. Well don’t worry about it anyway, I’m almost done here.”</p>
<p>“Do you ever stop working, Adora?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do.”</p>
<p>“Sleeping doesn’t count.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Well, in that case, I suppose not.”</p>
<p>Catra rolled her eyes. </p>
<p>“What do you do for fun? Are you still painting or creating those collages you used to make?”</p>
<p>Adora’s heart ached at that question. When they had been together, she used to love creating art of any kind when she had time to spare. But she hadn’t thought about it for a long time.</p>
<p>“No. I don’t really have the time or energy. If I do by some chance have free time, I usually just stay home or get a drink.”</p>
<p>Catra looked at her, eyes filled with pity. It was making Adora angry. She sipped her drink.</p>
<p>“You’ve changed a lot,” Catra said softly. It wasn’t a question. </p>
<p>“So have you.” </p>
<p>“Yeah.” Catra agreed. “But you don’t seem very happy. What happened to you?”</p>
<p>The question struck Adora as so odd that she actually laughed. </p>
<p>“What happened to me?” Adora had to fight the outburst of rage blooming in her chest. “You happened to me. You fucking broke me Catra.”</p>
<p>Adora glared at her. Catra was too stunned to respond. </p>
<p>“And ever since then, I’ve just been trying to pick up pieces. I’m sorry if this” she gestured to herself, “isn’t good enough for you.”</p>
<p>“That’s not what I said,” Catra snapped, her anger rising instinctually. She took a breath.</p>
<p>“You’re doing remarkably well in your career. And you look amazing. But you used to be so bright and happy. And it’s like that’s all gone.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you think I realize that? Don’t you think I miss myself sometimes?” Adora said quietly, looking at her drink. There was a pause. And then she continued. </p>
<p>“I lost that part of me a long time ago. I lost it before we even broke up.”</p>
<p>Catra looked like she wanted to say something, but she stayed quiet.</p>
<p>“Why the fuck do you care anyway? You’re the one who left me.”</p>
<p>Catra got angry again.</p>
<p>“You broke up with me. You ended us.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t have a choice. You would go MIA and leave me alone for days on end -- I wouldn’t know if you were in someone else’s bed or dead in a ditch.” Adora’s eyes darkened and a shadow crossed her face. </p>
<p>“You don’t even know what happened to me when you were gone.”</p>
<p>“What happened?” Catra asked softly.</p>
<p>But Adora just looked away. </p>
<p>“You didn’t answer my question. Why do you care?”</p>
<p>“I will always care about you, Adora.” Catra’s voice broke. Her eyes looked desperate. </p>
<p>A flit of pain crossed Adora’s face. Then she started to pack up her things and left cash on the counter.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s a little late for all that.” </p>
<p>Adora left Catra at the bar. Fighting tears the whole way back to her room. She didn’t know what hurt more, reliving those dark memories, or hearing that Catra still cared about her. </p>
<p>But there was something else that was becoming a thorn in her side. It was hope. And Adora knew that was deadly.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Catra was lost in thought as Bow pulled up a seat next to her. </p>
<p>“Someone looks like they’re on another planet. You there?”</p>
<p>Catra tried to smile but then Bow saw her eyes.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” </p>
<p>“Nothing. Adora was just here.” She said quietly, looking off into the distance.</p>
<p>“Oh,” Bow said softly, “what happened?”</p>
<p>Catra shrugged. “She doesn’t seem happy now. I asked her what happened -- she said it was my fault.”</p>
<p>This wasn’t news to Catra; she was well-aware of all the pain she caused Adora. But it was making her want to close up again. To protect herself. Because Adora wasn’t the only one who had been left broken when they ended. </p>
<p>“I’ve been trying to work on that with her for a while.”</p>
<p>“Work on what?”</p>
<p>“Just getting her back to herself.” </p>
<p>There was a pause as the bartender asked for Bow’s order. Catra ordered another drink.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I know we always talk about Adora when we catch up. But what happened to her when I was gone? When I’d leave her at home and go party?”</p>
<p>Bow’s expression darkened.</p>
<p>“To be honest, I’m not really sure. She wouldn’t even tell me. All I know is that it got really dark for her. She really loved you. I mean she did put up with a lot. But it got to a point where she started to really not be okay. She had to save herself.”</p>
<p>Catra bit her lip, trying not to cry. She could hardly remember any of her senior year. There had been so much drinking. So many drugs. The days blended together without any distinction. </p>
<p>When she thought about the night Adora finally ended things with her, Catra thought she was in a bad dream. But when it hit Catra how majorly she had fucked up, she spiraled further. Adora left her when she needed her the most. </p>
<p>If she was being honest with herself, Catra had never dreamed that Adora would leave her. No matter what she did, or how much she messed up, Catra assumed Adora would have stuck by her no matter what. </p>
<p>Catra actually hated Adora for a while, thinking she was the one who betrayed her. But now, more than ever, she was realizing that Adora really didn’t have a choice after all. Not when being with the person you loved was killing you.</p>
<p>“We stuck together through our internship, and then when we got hired too. She was quiet for a long time. Almost mute.” Bow continued. “Working so much was actually what brought her back to life. You should have seen her in those presentations. She became so confident. So sure of herself. I mean she’s still like that now. But she’s… changed.”</p>
<p>A tear trailed down Catra’s face.</p>
<p>“Why are you still friends with me? I’ve been so awful.” </p>
<p>Bow looked at her softly and went in to hug her. </p>
<p>“Catra, we could all see how much you were hurting. You did some pretty messed up things. Adora was right for leaving if I’m being honest, but I knew you would need a friend.”</p>
<p>He leaned back and looked her in the eyes.</p>
<p>“And look at you now.”</p>
<p>Catra smiled weakly. “Thank you. But I think I’m too late.”</p>
<p>“Too late?”</p>
<p>Catra took a long sip. </p>
<p>“I still love her, Bow. I thought I’d get over her eventually, but seeing her here...Well, I don’t think I’ll ever move on.”</p>
<p>“Of course you still love her, idiot.” Bow grinned. “She just needs time. After closing herself off from the world for so long, it’s going to take a minute for her to open up.”</p>
<p>Catra wondered if that could be true. If there was a world where, given some time, Adora would ever consider giving Catra another chance.</p>
<p>“If it helps,” Bow added, “I’ve been watching her too. And you should see the way she still looks at you, especially during that speech yesterday.” he gave her a pointed look. “I don’t think she’s given up completely.”</p>
<p>Catra’s heart fell regardless. </p>
<p>“But we only have tomorrow. I’ll be here next week for the alumni mentoring, but she leaves before that.”</p>
<p>Bow sipped from his drink, looking away. </p>
<p>“Uh -- right. Well, you never know what could happen.”</p>
<p>Catra couldn’t help but think that her friend was keeping something from her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Junior Year (FLASHBACK)</p>
<p>Adora had been looking forward to this day - when she and Catra would move in together - for quite some time. It was supposed to be exciting for both of them. But something was off.</p>
<p>It was the weekend before the fall semester of their junior year. Adora was trying to not bounce off the walls with excitement. But it looked like Catra had to force herself to smile.</p>
<p>Adora had a feeling she knew what was going on. She tried her hardest to convince Catra to spend the summer with her at her parent’s beach house, but Catra refused. So she’d gone home instead. At this point, Catra had told Adora just enough information about her home life to make Adora’s skin crawl. It sounded awful. No wonder she was acting weird after spending a whole summer there. </p>
<p>But this was supposed to be a happy day. Adora tried again to lighten the mood.</p>
<p>“Catra, do you think the couch should go against that wall or the one by the door?”</p>
<p>“I don’t care, it’s your couch anyways. All of this furniture is yours.” Catra said weakly, not meeting Adora’s gaze. </p>
<p>“Okay but it’s our place. So where do you--”</p>
<p>“Fine.” Catra snapped, “Put it against the wall, I don’t care.” And she marched off to the other room.</p>
<p>Adora felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Sure, Catra could be moody, but this was something else entirely. But Adora couldn’t bring herself to be mad, she was just worried.  She decided to just give her some space and finished decorating the living room by herself. </p>
<p>Later that night, after their whole apartment had been arranged (mostly by Adora), they sat at their new kitchen table eating in silence. The tension was nearly unbearable for Adora. And what was worse was Catra’s expression. She just looked so lost -- so unlike herself it scared Adora.</p>
<p>“Do you have any classes with Bow or Glimmer this semester?”</p>
<p>“No,” Catra said quietly, “You know this. You already asked.”</p>
<p>“Oh, right.” Adora said, but still desperate to get Catra to talk, “I’m nervous for this semester, aren’t you? They say junior year is the hardest.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure a little superstar like you has nothing to worry about. It’s the rest of us who should be nervous.” Catra still didn’t look up and her tone was seriously dry, but this was the longest sentence she’d said to Adora so far since coming back from summer break so she took it as a positive sign. </p>
<p>“Oh come on, Catra. You don’t have to worry too much either, you’re a genius.”</p>
<p>Catra rolled her eyes and left the table. “I’m nothing. We all know it.”</p>
<p>“Catra!” Adora said, reaching for her hand. But Catra ripped it away and stalked off toward the living room. Adora’s stomach twisted further as she cleaned up the takeout boxes.</p>
<p> A few minutes later she peeked into the living room. Catra was curled up on the couch with a book. After a few seconds, her eyes snapped up to Adora, glaring.</p>
<p>“What?” She hissed.</p>
<p>Adora was so shocked that she didn’t even know how to respond.</p>
<p>“Obviously, there’s something you want to say. You’ve been staring at me all day, I feel like I’m under a microscope.”</p>
<p>Adora swallowed.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong, Catra?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean what’s wrong? Everything is fine.”</p>
<p>“You’re acting weird and I know it’s because you spent so much time at home and --”</p>
<p>“You don’t know a goddamn thing you’re talking about, Adora.” Catra glared, getting herself more and more worked up, “Everything would be fine if you could just give me some space. If you could leave me alone for more than 5 minutes.” </p>
<p>Adora stepped back, this wasn’t her Catra at all. Catra just looked back at her book and didn’t say another word. </p>
<p>“Sorry,” Adora whispered, trying to hold back her tears. She turned around and headed upstairs for their bedroom. </p>
<p>She had been looking forward to this day for so long, imagining what it would be like to fall asleep in their room together on the first night in their own place. Instead, she cried herself to sleep in an empty bed. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Catra had no idea what was going on with her. Nothing was making sense. When she was with Adora, she felt like she was going to explode with rage. Maybe it was because she knew that eventually, Adora would want to pry into her life, dissect all her problems like she was some lab experiment. But when Adora was gone, when Catra yelled enough to make the girl leave her alone, Catra felt like shit. She’d replay all the awful things she said and she would cry and cry and cry. </p>
<p>She was no good for Adora. That made perfect sense to her, but the more she wanted to pull away, the tighter Adora gripped. </p>
<p>But as time passed, Catra started going out more and more. And of course, Adora always tagged along. But Catra had a hunch it was only because she wanted to keep an eye on her. Which of course, was infuriating.</p>
<p>Tonight, they were sitting in a bar with Bow and Glimmer. Catra was scowling as the other three chatted happily. Especially because they were talking about internship possibilities. </p>
<p>“I just sent my application a couple of days ago. But we won’t hear back for almost a month. This waiting is agony.” Bow whined.</p>
<p>“Oh come on,” Glimmer said, “I’m sure they’ll give you a spot no problem. What about you, Catra?”</p>
<p>“It’s not looking so good for me guys. But I haven’t actually applied anywhere.”</p>
<p>Adora looked away, clearly annoyed. It was something they fought about just last week. </p>
<p>How can you expect to get an internship if you don’t apply for one? Do you even care?</p>
<p>What a stupid question, Adora.</p>
<p>After a few more drinks, Bow and Glimmer said their goodbyes and went home for the night. </p>
<p>Catra knew that Adora would want to leave soon too, it was getting late, but Catra didn’t want to go home.</p>
<p>They went from club to club, drinking without conversation. As the night went on, Catra could tell that Adora wanted to go home. But Catra just kept ordering more drinks. She wanted to stay here, where the music was too loud for Adora to ask too many questions. </p>
<p>But at some point, Adora checked her watch and gasped. </p>
<p>“Shit. Shit. Shit.”</p>
<p>“What?” Catra asked, annoyed. </p>
<p>“I didn’t realize it was past midnight. I missed a deadline for one of the internship applications. Fuck. This is not good.”</p>
<p>Catra’s stomach sank. She knew this was her fault. If they’d just stayed home this evening, if Adora hadn’t felt like she needed to babysit Catra, this wouldn’t have happened.</p>
<p>“Can we please go home?” Adora asked.</p>
<p>There were too many emotions fighting inside of Catra and as usual, anger won.</p>
<p>“You go home.” She snapped. “It’s not my problem. I’ll stay out.”</p>
<p>Adora stepped back in shock, pain etched across her face. Catra looked away, she hated seeing Adora’s face when she was hurt. Catra knew it was her fault. More guilt swirled in her stomach. More confirmation that she wasn’t good for Adora. </p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Adora asked, her voice breaking. </p>
<p>Catra just nodded, still not looking at Adora. There was a beat of silence between them. Catra could feel Adora’s eyes on her. It felt like lasers.</p>
<p>“I said go home.” Catra hissed.</p>
<p>Adora started crying, and turned around, and left without saying another word. </p>
<p>Catra ordered another drink. As soon as Adora was gone, the weight of the situation washed over Catra, crushing her. Why am I such a piece of shit?</p>
<p>She wanted Adora back at her side. She wanted Adora to hold her, to let Catra just cry for hours without needing to explain herself. But Catra knew she was the problem. She drank more and more that as her mother’s voice rang shrill in her head all night,</p>
<p>You will never be more than scum on this Earth.</p>
<p>It’s pitiful, watching you think that you’ll be someone someday. </p>
<p>You are wretched. You do not deserve love.</p>
<p>Catra didn’t go home that night. She stumbled out of the clubs and walked to the nearest park, eventually finding a bench to sit on. It was quieter outside, but her head was still screaming. Now it was her voice.</p>
<p>I’m no good.</p>
<p>I’m no good.</p>
<p>I’m no good.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora concluded the last interview for the day as the door closed behind a promising student named Frosta. </p>
<p>“So what did you think of her?” Bow asked Adora. </p>
<p>“I liked her! She’s only a freshman, but I say we pass her info along to HR and see if we can get her for the internship or something.”</p>
<p>“Agreed.”</p>
<p>They busied themselves packing up their things, excited to officially be done with the career fair. </p>
<p>“Sooo,” Bow said casually, “What’s going on with you and Catra?”</p>
<p>Adora stilled. Parts of the conversation were still replaying in her mind. I will always care about you, Adora. </p>
<p>“Nothing.” She huffed. “She’s the one who came up to me in the bar. And had the audacity to ask what happened to me, as if she wasn’t the reason itself.”</p>
<p>“Adora, it’s been so long. I know it was awful all those years ago. But you’re okay now. And so is she. Do you think you could ever call a truce?”</p>
<p>Adora paused again. The truth was that she had considered that. For the first year especially after they broke up, Adora would cling to the hope that Catra would get better. But that little seed of hope had shrunk over the years, though it hadn’t vanished altogether. </p>
<p>But then Adora had flashbacks of when she had been left all alone, and her chest filled with ice. </p>
<p>“No.” She said firmly. “I don’t think I can. </p>
<p>Bow frowned. </p>
<p>“I’m not saying you have to be best friends. But just give her a chance at the beach later.”</p>
<p>“What does it even matter?” Adora sighed, “She’ll be leaving tomorrow morning anyway.”</p>
<p>Bow looked away nervously. “Right. All the more reason to make nice tonight.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A couple hours later, they were on the beach. Scorpia was cooking burgers on the grill, Adora was playing bartender, and Glimmer was just sitting there looking pretty. Adora wasn’t sure where Catra was, and she didn’t want to be the one to ask. </p>
<p>But she didn’t need to ask about Catra anyway because she showed up a few minutes later. </p>
<p>“Sorry I’m late guys, our interviews were way behind schedule.”</p>
<p>“Catra!” Glimmer yelled, hugging the girl. “No worries, the burgers are just about to finish up. Grab a drink from Adora.”</p>
<p>Catra walked towards Adora, eyeing her apprehensively. </p>
<p>“Hey, Adora.”</p>
<p>During the drive from the hotel to the beach, Adora had made up her mind. She had no problem being civil, especially for the sake of her friends. But she didn’t need to “make nice” with Catra. Not after everything she’d done. They didn’t need to be friends. But for tonight, they could be friendly. Why ruin the mood?</p>
<p>She gave Catra a smile.</p>
<p>“Hey, Catra. Beer?”</p>
<p>Catra looked surprised but accepted the beer. </p>
<p>“Burgers up!”</p>
<p>They all gathered around, enjoying the food, beers, and gorgeous ruby-streaked sky. Every once in a while Adora would glance over at Catra; she always looked beautiful in sunset-lighting. Her hair had auburn undertones and her eyes glowed. Catra caught her staring and they both looked away.</p>
<p>“I’m jumping in, who’s coming?” Glimmer announced.</p>
<p>“Hell yeah, I am.” Bow said, reaching to pull off his shirt. </p>
<p>He ran after Glimmer, and Scorpia ran after him. </p>
<p>Now it was just Adora and Catra.</p>
<p>“They’ll get mad if we don’t follow them,” Adora said, awkwardly. She kicked off her shoes. She was already wearing trunks, but she pulled off her shirt to reveal a matching bikini top. </p>
<p>“Are you coming?”</p>
<p>Catra looked dazed, but she recovered quickly. Taking off her outer layers until she was only wearing an extremely flattering one piece. Adora’s mouth felt dry. She turned away, determined not to look at her.</p>
<p>“Adora, are you okay? I’m sorry about last night.”</p>
<p>Maybe it was the beers or the laughter in the air, but Adora didn’t feel quite as angry as earlier.</p>
<p>“It’s fine. Really. We can just uh -- call it a truce for tonight?” she stuck her hand out.</p>
<p>Catra frowned, but still shook Adora’s hand. As their hands met Adora felt a current of electricity run through her body. They stepped apart from each other, clearly, Catra had felt that too. She laughed nervously. </p>
<p>“We better go or they’ll send a search party.”</p>
<p>Catra ran ahead to the water. Part of Adora was pissed. Her resolve to hate Catra was fading by the second. It wasn’t all gone. The more she thought about their conversation yesterday, the stronger the wall of ice inside her seemed to grow. </p>
<p>Still, she couldn’t fight the desire to stare at Catra as she ran ahead and it was making her think about the situation a little differently. All because of those beautiful eyes, and that smirk and --  <br/>Adora shook her head and ran off to join her friends. Make nice, huh?</p>
<p>The festivities continued well into the night. They started a bonfire and the reunited best friend squad shared work horror stories, talked about some of the flings they had over the years, and shared their hopes for the future. </p>
<p>“I’d love to stay at my company for a while longer,” Scorpia was saying, “but if they don’t promote me soon, I’ll have to transfer someplace else.” </p>
<p>“I think I’m gonna move soon. New York was fun for a while, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll stick around.” Glimmer said. “How’s San Diego?” She asked Catra.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s wonderful. Sunny skies, beaches only a short drive away, and amazing food. The people can be a little pretentious, but you get used to them.”</p>
<p>“Adora, you’d probably like San Diego.” Bow said. “I know how much you hate Portland.”</p>
<p>“I don’t hate Portland,” she said, “I just wish it wasn’t so rainy.”</p>
<p>“Do you think you’ll ever leave Horde Prime for another agency?” Scorpia asked.</p>
<p>Adora took a long sip from her drink. </p>
<p>“Not for another agency, no. But eventually, I’ll probably leave the industry.”</p>
<p>Everyone except Bow, who she’d talked to about this before, gasped. Come on guys, that’s a little dramatic. </p>
<p>“Leave the industry?” Catra asked. She didn’t look scandalized like Scorpia and Glimmer but awed. </p>
<p>“I mean, I don’t know for sure. I don’t even know what I would do. It’s just a thought.”</p>
<p>Bow raised his beer,</p>
<p>“Well, cheers to that. Not knowing a damn thing.”</p>
<p>They laughed and everyone raised their beers too. Glimmer changed the playlist from “lax beachy vibes” to “club circa 2008” and they all danced around the bonfire. </p>
<p>It was nice, Adora thought, to feel so free and light. At one point, she and Catra bumped into one another. Catra had to grab Adora’s shoulders to steady herself and they both blushed. </p>
<p>Adora was getting tired of the warring argument in her head. Kiss her! Hate her! </p>
<p>But as the night wore on, and as Adora caught more glimpses of Catra looking beautiful as she danced, the voice that was screaming Kiss her! was getting louder and louder. And as the fire slowly started to die, the voice was unbearable. </p>
<p>Adora could feel panic swirling in her chest. They would probably call it a night in 20 minutes. And after that, who knows when she would see Catra again. Maybe never. </p>
<p>10 minutes. </p>
<p>5 minutes. </p>
<p>“Well, I think it’s out. And it’s getting pretty late, anyway.” Bow said standing next to the dwindling fire. At this point, it was barely an ember. He looked around glumly at his friends. </p>
<p>Adora was fighting a scream. Why is this bothering me so much? I should be happy to see her exit my life again. </p>
<p>Scorpia started crying as it was time to say goodbye. They took turns hugging each other. Adora hugged Catra last. There was unmistakable sadness in Catra’s eyes. Adora was shocked that she wanted to hug her. But it was painful -- like pressing against a bed of hot coals. She let go of Catra quickly and got in the car without looking back. </p>
<p>The car ride with Bow back to the hotel was quiet. Adora had a million different thoughts running around in her brain. Most of them were visions of Catra in her bathing suit in an alternate universe where Adora kissed her and went home with her instead. It made her heart ache. </p>
<p>Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Bow looking at her. And since he was her best friend, she knew that he probably had a good idea of what was running through her head. But he didn’t press her about it and she was grateful.</p>
<p>They said goodbye in the hotel lobby. It was way less dramatic than the farewells they experienced on the beach since they would see each other again eventually at work. </p>
<p>Adora shut the door behind her. Now considering a very dangerous idea. But she was conflicted. If she sent the text, there would be no going back. But if she missed this opportunity, would she regret it forever? </p>
<p>She didn’t have to forgive Catra to fuck her. And she really wanted to.</p>
<p>She took a deep breath and looked for her phone. She found Catra’s name in her contact list, and clicked, ‘send message’.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter Ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Catra checked her phone after getting out of the shower, the last thing she expected was a text from Adora. Her heart beat furiously as she unlocked her phone.</p>
<p>ADORA<br/>If you want, I can come over.<br/>11:45 pm</p>
<p>Catra couldn’t breathe. Adora was sending her a booty text? She’d already cried in the shower, thinking that she’d never see her again, but now Adora was asking her to come over. Catra was hesitant but typed back. </p>
<p>Are you sure? <br/>12:02 am</p>
<p>Was this a good idea? Probably not. But this was an offer that Catra couldn’t dream of refusing. She started to throw some clothes on. When she checked her phone again, there were two texts from Adora. </p>
<p>ADORA<br/>Yes. <br/>12:05 am</p>
<p>I’ll meet you at yours. <br/>12:06 am</p>
<p>Catra typed up her hotel and room number. Adora sent her one more text. </p>
<p>ADORA<br/>On my way.<br/>12:08 am</p>
<p>Catra started to feel giddy. Adora is coming over. That had to be a good sign. Maybe even the first step to… Catra knew that getting her hopes up wasn’t a good idea, but she couldn’t help it.</p>
<p>20 minutes later there was a light knock on the door. </p>
<p>Catra opened it. There was Adora, in sweats, looking like some kind of athleisure model. </p>
<p>“Hey,” She said softly. “Can I come in?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Catra said. She wasn’t entirely sure how to approach the situation or what to even expect. </p>
<p>Adora stepped in. Her face looked conflicted. </p>
<p>Catra cleared her throat and gestured to the bottle of wine on the bedside table. </p>
<p>“I picked this up earlier, would you like a glass?”</p>
<p>Adora nodded and they each drank a glass in near silence.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I know this is confusing.” Adora said. “I’m not even sure if it’s smart if I’m here, but… I want you.”</p>
<p>Catra stepped back, so Adora really was here for sex? Catra knew she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want Adora too. She knew that immediately after seeing Adora for only 5 minutes at the career fair.</p>
<p>“I want you too,” Catra said quietly. She wondered if they should talk first, but Adora stepped forward and kissed her. </p>
<p>At first, Catra was shocked. I’m really kissing Adora. But eventually, her body caught on as she felt the electricity between them. Too easily, she was pulled back in. </p>
<p>Catra deepened the kiss, running her hands through Adora’s hair. She dreamed about doing this again for so long, it felt too good to be true now. Catra slid her hand underneath Adora’s shirt and shuddered. Adora was toned and muscular now, Catra could have felt her abs for hours. But she wanted more, she wanted to see her. </p>
<p>She went to start taking Adora’s shirt off, but Adora finished the job for her. Catra unclipped her bra. </p>
<p>All the air left Catra as she looked at Adora wearing only her sweatpants. Catra had always been attracted to Adora, dorkiness and all. But Adora all muscled up and fit, brought her attraction to a dangerous level. </p>
<p>“Adora… you look, incredible.”</p>
<p>Adora gave her a small smile and held her chin.</p>
<p>“So do you.” She said, and brushed a stray lock of her behind Catra’s hair, “Your hair, I like it. I always liked your long hair too, but this is nice a look on you.”</p>
<p>Catra smiled, pleased with herself. She took Adora’s hand and started walking towards the bed. Before turning around, she took off her own shirt. She wasn’t wearing a bra underneath. </p>
<p>As she turned around, Adora’s lips parted as she looked Catra up and down. </p>
<p>“Catra,” she said with a husky voice, “I’ve wanted this since I first saw you.”</p>
<p>Wanted me or wanted my body? Catra wondered. But she didn’t have a chance to ask because the look in Adora’s eyes distracted her. </p>
<p>Slowly, Adora stepped forward and kissed Catra again, trailing her hand across Catra’s back. As if Catra was as light as a feather, Adora picked her up and put her down on the bed. Catra held onto her arms to steady herself, feeling her rippling muscles. </p>
<p>They locked eyes for a second. Adora’s gaze was so intense that Catra could already feel herself unraveling. And then they collided.</p>
<p>They kissed and touched each other in earnest now. As if they were making up for all the lost time. Catra moaned as Adora’s hand cupped her breast. Adora’s breathing got heavier as Catra’s nails caressed her back. It was ecstasy, touching Adora again. </p>
<p>They kicked off their sweatpants and Adora’s hands moved from Catra’s chest to her legs. Using her own legs, Adora spread Catra’s legs apart, making her feel open and vulnerable. </p>
<p>Adora was kissing her neck as her hand trailed along her thighs. With a featherlight touch, she skimmed the outside of Catra’s underwear.</p>
<p>It was hardly any pressure, but Catra felt every touch like a zap of electricity. She squirmed. Adora ripped off her underwear, and just looked at the sight beneath her -- Catra needy, breathing heavily with her legs open. </p>
<p>“We’re gonna make this quick, Catra.” She said.</p>
<p>Why? Catra wanted to ask. She wanted to savor this night. But she didn’t argue. </p>
<p>Adora’s hand gently caressed her again. When she felt how wet Catra already was, she actually moaned. </p>
<p>“Jesus, Catra.” She said, “You really want this don’t you?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Catra said, already breathing heavily. </p>
<p>Adora slid a finger inside and then another. Catra lulled her head back and groaned. </p>
<p>“How bad?” Adora asked.</p>
<p>Catra looked back at Adora, her expression was intense. Hungry even.</p>
<p>“Really fucking bad, Adora.” Catra said, “I’ve thought about it for years.”</p>
<p>Adora closed her eyes and bit her lip. Catra wasn’t sure how it was possible, but when Adora opened her eyes again, she looked even needier. </p>
<p>Slowly, Adora eased her fingers in and out of Catra, curling them slightly so she could press against Catra’s walls. She picked up the speed.</p>
<p>Catra’s mind was in a million different pieces. All she could focus on was the glorious sensation that Adora was causing. Too quickly, she could feel herself tightening around Adora. Catra reached out to cup Adora’s breast and stroke her nipple with her thumb. </p>
<p>Adora exhaled heavily and started pumping faster. Catra knew she wouldn’t last much longer, it just felt so amazing. Her legs started shaking. </p>
<p>“Adora… this is so good.”</p>
<p>Adora bit her lip. </p>
<p>“Come on,  Catra. Cum for me.”</p>
<p>At the sound of those words, Catra orgasmed. She felt like she had exploded into infinity -- like she was hurtling through the sky at incredible speed. The sensation was so incredible, she yelled out Adora’s name. </p>
<p>Adora slowed down as Catra finished. </p>
<p>Eventually, Adora collapsed next to Catra, breathing just as heavily. Catra rolled around and started kissing Adora’s neck softly. Adora closed her eyes. </p>
<p>Catra didn’t want to wait another second to taste Adora, so she flipped over and placed herself between Adora’s legs. She kissed the spot between her thighs.</p>
<p>Adora inhaled sharply, “Catra.”</p>
<p>Keeping her eyes on Adora’s, Catra licked Adora’s clit with deliberate slowness. Adora shuddered and arched her back involuntarily. She was already soaking wet.</p>
<p>Catra wrapped an arm around each of Adora’s thighs and continued to lick her, slowly, but with more pressure every time. Adora’s eyes were blazing. </p>
<p>“Please, Catra” She moaned. The neediness in her voice drove Catra to pick up her speed. She swirled her tongue around faster and faster. Finding spots that particularly made Adora squirm and pressed them over and over again with her tongue. Adora’s legs were quivering.</p>
<p>Catra massaged Adora’s inner thighs as they started to shake. Catra wanted to take her time, draw this out as long as possible, but she knew how much Adora needed this. </p>
<p>So she flicked her tongue more and more until Adora was a ball of tension beneath her. Her chest was rising and falling as she breathed heavier and heavier. She moaned loudly as she met her release. </p>
<p>It was so hot that Catra almost came again, but she focused on pleasing Adora until she could feel her slowing down. </p>
<p>For a few seconds, there was only the sound of their breathing. </p>
<p>“Come here,” Adora said, still out of breath. </p>
<p>Catra climbed up to nuzzle next to Adora. She wrapped her arms around her. </p>
<p>Catra felt happy, but when she looked up at Adora, she looked sad. She was staring at the ceiling. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Catra whispered.</p>
<p>Adora closed her eyes, and a tear streaked down her face.</p>
<p>Alarmed, Catra sat up. “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Adora wiped it away and just held Catra tighter, averting her gaze.</p>
<p>“Nothing.” She said. “I just missed this.”</p>
<p>Something felt off to Catra, but Adora didn’t look to be in the talking mood. So she just nuzzled her closer. </p>
<p>“I missed this too.” </p>
<p>They held each other for a while. Adora was so still that Catra assumed that she was asleep. Her mind was still spinning. The sex was… better than Catra imagined it would be. She felt warm and safe in Adora’s arms. Eventually, Catra drifted off to sleep. </p>
<p>Catra woke up the next morning, wondering if last night had been a dream. On the bedside table were two wine glasses. Definitely not a dream then. A seed of happiness was sprouting in her chest.</p>
<p>But when she rolled over, her heart sank. The bed was empty. Adora was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter Eleven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Senior Year (LAST FLASHBACK)</p><p>After spending her summer in another state for an internship, Adora was driving back to the house. She missed the deadline for Horde Prime’s Internship, but it really hadn’t been that big of a deal. She still secured an internship for another well-known agency. Plus, she had her whole senior year to make up for it.</p><p>But as she got closer to the house, her palms started to sweat with nerves. She and Catra had barely spoken all summer. The internship had been intense, so it wasn’t like Adora had a ton of time to spare anyway. But when they did have a chance to talk, Catra was still distant. </p><p>Still, somewhere inside of Adora, there was hope. Maybe they’d reunite and everything would go back to normal and they could hang out in the park and be happy. </p><p>She was hoping that the time apart would be good for them. Not to mention, Catra had spent her summer watching their apartment instead of with her mom. So she had to be better. She just had to. </p><p>But as Adora parked in front of the house, she saw three other cars parked in front. Not a good sign. </p><p>The door opened as she was walking up the steps. A tall, scrappy-looking guy walked out. </p><p>“See y’all later.” Then he spotted Adora, “Who are you?” </p><p>Adora frowned. “ This is my house. I’m Catra’s girlfriend. Who are you?”</p><p>The guy just laughed. He didn’t really seem to be… all there. To Adora’s annoyance, he just walked away without answering her question. Adora walked inside and saw that there were two people sitting on the couch. Catra was sitting on one of the armchairs. </p><p>“Oh, hey Adora.” She said as if Adora was just coming back from the store. Adora stared at the other people. They looked similar to the other guy who had just left. Run-down, tired and not exactly present. </p><p>“Hey, Catra.” Adora said quietly. “Who’s this?”</p><p>“Oh, just some friends,” Catra said. Gesturing to the two girls on the couch. “Jess and Nicky.” And then she didn’t say anything else. As if there was no need to explain why there were so many people in their apartment. </p><p>Adora looked around. The place looked rough. There were empty bottles and takeout boxes littered everywhere. </p><p>Adora just nodded and went upstairs, assuming that Catra would follow her so that they could catch up. But she was wrong. In the hour it had taken for Adora to unpack her things, Catra had not come up. </p><p>Adora’s heart sank. She texted Bow and Glimmer, asking if they were around to grab some dinner. Half an hour later, she was walking out the door to meet up with them. Catra still hadn’t made an effort to talk to her. </p><p>After returning later that evening, there were even more cars in front of their apartment. She was starting to seriously get annoyed. </p><p>She walked in, feeling like it wasn’t even her home and when she saw the living room, she froze. One of the girls, maybe the one that was Nicky, was rolling up a dollar bill. In front of her was a perfectly straight line of white powder on a small mirror. No one had noticed Adora yet. </p><p>“Hey, Catra,” the girl called, looking into the kitchen. “You're up next.”</p><p>“Fuck yeah” Catra yelled. But as she walked back into the living room, she saw Adora and froze. </p><p>“Oh, hey.” She said, coldly. </p><p>Adora ran upstairs. She didn’t want to see what happened next. In the bedroom, she noticed something else. A small bag of pills. Adora took a closer look. The white pills were rectangular with the word, “XANAX” engraved on them.</p><p>Her stomach filled with acid. Cocaine and Xanax? And all those empty liquor bottles downstairs….</p><p>The door opened and Catra walked in, she saw that Adora was holding the pills. </p><p>“What the fuck is going on?” Adora hissed.</p><p>“Relax,” Catra said, grabbing the bag from Adora. “Just having a little fun. It was lonely without you this summer.”</p><p>“I really doubt that, Catra. There’s like 50 people here. Who even are they?”</p><p>Catra rolled her eyes. “I told you, they’re friends.”</p><p>“Tell them to leave now. And tell them to take that shit with them.”</p><p>Catra glared at her. “What’s your problem? You’re being crazy.”</p><p>Adora gaped. The two girls stared at one another.</p><p>“Anyways,” Catra said, “I just wanted to check up on you. But obviously, you don’t want me up here, so I’ll go.”</p><p>“Catra why are you being like this?” </p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“So….stupid.”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“Xanax? Coke? Are you kidding me, Catra? It’s all so stupid and I want it out now.”</p><p>“Come on, Adora, when did you get so fucking boring?”</p><p>Adora clenched her teeth. </p><p>“You know what? If you want to ruin your life Catra, fine. But you’re not doing it in the house. So tell them all to leave, tell them to take their drugs, and if you want to go with them--” Adora’s voice broke. “Well, that’s your choice.”</p><p>Catra was dangerously quiet. </p><p>“Fine.” She said and then turned around, slamming the door behind her. </p><p>Adora stayed in the room, crying for hours. Eventually, she couldn’t hear anything downstairs so she left the room to investigate. </p><p>The place was empty. </p><p>For the rest of the night, Adora cleaned up the mess. It was therapeutic even, keeping her mind elsewhere. But when she was done, she was all alone with nothing but her worries. She already regretted telling Catra to leave. She should have known that Catra would have actually done it. </p><p>Adora waited on the couch. She put on a TV show, though she wasn’t really watching it. She drifted off and woke with a start hours later. She checked her watch. It was past three o’clock in the morning. Adora peeked out the window. But only her car was out front. Her heart sank. She decided to just go to bed. Catra had to come home at some point right? </p><p>But when she woke up the next morning, the bed was still empty. </p><p>***</p><p>Months passed by, but to Catra, everything was a blur. Every once in a while, she’d go home to get some fresh clothes or sleep, but generally, she tried to go when she knew Adora was in a class or at work. She herself had been fired from the cafe after not showing up for a shift for the third time. Fuck it. She thought.</p><p>Adora wasn’t happy with her. She knew that. But Catra just felt so disconnected and numb from all her feelings. Nothing mattered. And if she started to feel anything too much, she would just take another pill.</p><p>The days melted into weeks without distinction. She remembered at some point being in a class and realizing with a start that it was February. Her mind spun. She sincerely thought it was October at the latest. Her classes weren’t going well either. She was passing, but barely. On more than one occasion, a teacher pulled her aside at the end of a class and asked if everything was alright. She’d always just laugh it off. </p><p>Now she was in Nicki’s apartment along with all her other friends. Friends. What a weird word. She wasn’t sure if that was the best way to describe the people around her, but after downing a bottle of vodka, she stopped thinking about it. Her phone buzzed. It was Adora. </p><p>Can you please come home?</p><p>Catra’s stomach felt weird like it always did when Adora texted her. Catra excused herself to the bathroom. The room was spinning and suddenly she was looking at herself in the mirror. She felt sad. She felt so… disconnected. Was anything real? Her phone buzzed again, another text from Adora.</p><p>Catra, please.</p><p>Catra scrolled up looking at all the other messages she ignored. </p><p>Where are you?</p><p>Are you okay?</p><p>Can you please just let me know if you’re alive or not?</p><p>But Catra kept ignoring them like she always did. Thinking about Adora made her so sad. She fucking missed her. She wished they could just go back to normal, but Catra knew she wasn’t any good for Adora. Half the time she stayed away because she didn’t want to fuck anything else up.</p><p>“Catra, this line is yours.” someone yelled in the other room. So she followed the voice. Always going back to the drugs and drinking because that’s all she knew anymore. </p><p>***</p><p>Sit by the window. Check her phone for texts. Frantically read the news looking for stories of young women found dead. This was Adora’s routine. </p><p>She was absolutely miserable. And nothing could distract her. If she tried to put on a show or movie, the lights and sounds would overwhelm and her anxiety would skyrocket. So she turned everything off. </p><p>She couldn’t even paint anymore. She couldn’t do anything. When she wasn’t in her classes or working, she just sat by the window. Sent another text into the abyss. And hope that Catra was alive.</p><p>April rolled around and Adora wasn’t sure how much more she could take. It had been a whole week since she had heard from Catra last. Though, she had to guess that she was alright because sometimes when she’d come back from a class, there would be obvious signs that Catra had been there. A drawer left open. Clothes on the ground. But never a note.</p><p>So the only thing left to think was that Adora was the problem after all. Something about Adora must have been so awful that Catra had been driven away. </p><p>Adora’s thoughts started to get darker and darker. Her phone buzzed and she launched herself across the room to see who it was. Her heart sank, it was Glimmer not Catra.</p><p>Come hang out with us. Stop waiting around. </p><p>She started to cry. She wanted to hang out with her friends, but what if Catra came home? Adora would have been pissed at herself if she missed a chance to see Catra.</p><p>So she stayed in the empty home. Adora cried and cried as her thoughts got darker.</p><p>It’s me. I’m the problem.</p><p>Adora heard the sound of gravel crunching under the weight of a car tire. She ran to the window, but her heart sank again when she saw that the driveway was still empty.</p><p>If there was one thing Adora wanted more than Catra to come home, it was pain. And since it was clear that Catra wasn’t coming home, the desire for pain was becoming insatiable. </p><p>It was a familiar longing. But not something that she had given into for years --not since she was 13 when she had been sent to rehab after her parents found cuts and bruises all over her body. </p><p>Another tear escaped. Adora had been strong for so long, but she wanted to hurt. And fighting that urge was becoming harder by the day. </p><p>One night, it all became too much. </p><p>Adora really needed to go to the grocery store; the fridge had been empty for weeks. But when Adora got back, she saw the familiar signs that Catra had been there. Her stomach sank. She missed her only chance to see her. </p><p>Sitting in her grief and the suffocating silence of the house, Adora battled the urge to hurt herself. But this time she gave in.<br/>
She broke the promise she made to herself all those years ago. To never do that again. </p><p>After realizing what she’d done, after crossing that sacred line, she sobbed uncontrollably. She wanted to curl up and die on this bed.</p><p>But something else was happening. Some other force was taking over. This isn’t right.<br/>
And for the rest of the night, Adora felt like she was watching her life through a movie screen -- like it wasn’t her own. </p><p>She picked herself up. </p><p>She packed up her things.</p><p>And she typed one final text to Catra. </p><p>***</p><p>Catra stumbled through the front door. Everything was hazy. She wasn’t sure what was happening and couldn’t even remember why she had rushed home. But everything hit her when she saw Adora. She walked by Catra like she wasn’t even there, carrying a bag of her things and putting it in her car.</p><p>“Adora?” Catra’s voice cracked. She looked at the girl that used to look at her with impossible warmth. Now her eyes look empty, color-less. Her face looked sallow. In the back of her mind, Catra noticed bruises on Adora’s knuckles and dried blood. But nothing was connecting in her brain. </p><p>Adora walked back through the door, going to collect another bag.</p><p>“Adora, what are you doing?” Catra tried again, her speech slurring. </p><p>“It’s clear that you don’t want me here. So I’m leaving.” Her voice was hollow. </p><p>No. No. No. No. No. </p><p>Never in a million years did Catra think that Adora would ever leave her. She knew she was messing up a lot, but the possibility just never occurred to her. </p><p>“Please, don’t do this.” Catra croaked, her eyes stinging. </p><p>Adora looked at her. She didn’t look angry or even sad. She just looked empty, her face was devoid of all emotion. She didn’t say anything, but she picked up a box. </p><p>Catra could feel raw panic creeping through her body. The world was ending before her eyes. But she just stood there, paralyzed. </p><p>Adora brought the last of her bags.</p><p>“I’m staying somewhere else. I’ll still take care of rent and you can do whatever you want with the furniture.”</p><p>“Adora, you don’t --”</p><p>“I hope you get better, Catra.” Adora’s voice was raw with pain. She turned towards her car. </p><p>Catra lunged for her hand, tears were streaming down her face now.</p><p>“Adora, please. I’m sorry, don’t do this. I love you.”</p><p>“You don’t love me.” She took one last look at Catra and got in the car. </p><p>Catra stood on the doorstep and watched as Adora drove her way. She hadn’t felt anything this intensely for a while. It was awful. </p><p>Adora was gone. She’d left her. Even though she knew how fucked up Catra was, she left her. </p><p>Rage and sorrow battled inside of her as she stormed through the house. Things -- Adora’s things -- were missing, making the house feel emptier than usual. It didn’t feel right.</p><p>Catra started throwing anything she could get her hands on. She left me. Some of their pictures were still tacked on the wall. She tore them apart, screaming. And then when she saw the scraps at her feet, she sobbed. </p><p>Catra found a bottle of vodka and drank deeply out of it. </p><p>Adora was gone. </p><p>Adora didn’t care about her. </p><p>No one cared about her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This one hurt my soul to write :( plz forgive me<br/>Also: I just wanna make it known that there is nothing wrong with Xanex itself - if it is prescribed to you and taken as the Dr. recommends. HOWEVER, taking it without a prescription and in larger doses than you are supposed to (what Catra is doing) is substance abuse.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter Twelve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Monday morning rolled around, Adora was on her way to the dean’s office. For the rest of the week, along with the other alumni mentor, she would be meeting with students to sit with them, review their portfolios, and give her feedback. </p>
<p>But this morning the dean would be briefing her on the itinerary and any other details. This would also be when Adora met the other alumni mentor.  </p>
<p>She wondered who it would be. She was hoping it would have been one of her friends, but no one else had mentioned anything. Come to think of it though, neither had she. </p>
<p>Adora found a parking spot and started walking towards the building. As her mind wandered to last Friday night, she felt a flurry of emotions. The first was pleasure. The sex had been amazing. Even better than Adora had anticipated. But she also felt guilt. She left when Catra was sleeping -- and without saying goodbye. And now she would never see Catra again. </p>
<p>Adora’s stomach lurched. It’s what’s best for both of us. </p>
<p>When she was lying there next to Catra, she was experiencing so many emotions. Watching the girl she used to love sleep made her heart ache. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to hold Catra forever. For a brief moment, she let herself imagine a future where they got together again. </p>
<p>But then the panic crept through her chest. If she stayed the night, and woke up next to Catra and kissed her, it would have been all too easy to forgive her; to pretend like nothing bad had ever happened between them. And Adora knew that would have been a catastrophic mistake. Because eventually, Catra would hurt her again, and Adora didn’t think she could survive that.</p>
<p>So Adora kissed her forehead one last time and left. </p>
<p>Still, the shame was burning a hole in her stomach.  It’s over now. You don’t have to see her again. But she was wrong. </p>
<p>When she entered the dean’s office, the other alumni mentor was already there. And it was Catra.</p>
<p>“Ah, Miss Grayskull.” The dean greeted her cheerfully. “Please take a seat, I was just telling Miss. Weaver here all about the week ahead of us.”</p>
<p>Adora sat in the chair next to Catra; she could feel her rage like it was radiating off her body. </p>
<p>“First and foremost, I want to thank you both for staying with us an extra week. We couldn’t think of anyone better to mentor the students than you two.”</p>
<p>He beamed at them and continued. </p>
<p>“Now, when selecting our alumni mentors every year, we try to pick those from the same graduating class so there’s already some familiarity between you two. And that way, you’ll have company.”</p>
<p>“Company?” Catra asked quietly.</p>
<p>“Yes, Miss Weaver. You’ll be spending a lot of time together. Not just during the mentoring sessions, but outside of those too.” </p>
<p>Catra clenched her fist.</p>
<p>“We would never make you eat your meals alone, so we’ve booked dinner reservations for the two of you every night at some of the best restaurants in town.”</p>
<p>This just keeps getting better and better. Adora cringed.</p>
<p>“I’ve taken the liberty of printing off these itineraries for you,” he handed them each a packet of paper. “It outlines the schedule and includes any contact information you might need. Tonight is pretty easy. At 5:30, you’ll meet in the communications building and attend the AdClub meeting. Afterward, dinner. And please,” he winked, “order whatever you want.”</p>
<p>It was ironic, Adora thought, how obliviously jolly this man was when Adora felt like she was consumed with guilt.</p>
<p>“And of course, the time outside of the activities outlined in the schedule is yours to spend however you’d like. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s one last thing I need to grab.” He left the room and the silence that followed was unbearable. Catra broke it. </p>
<p>“So did Friday night mean absolutely nothing to you then?” She glared at Adora. But there was something deeper to her expression; she wasn’t just angry, she was hurt. </p>
<p>Adora shifted uncomfortably in her chair. </p>
<p>“Catra I -- It’s complicated.”</p>
<p>Catra snorted. </p>
<p>“I know I’ve messed up pretty bad. But that was fucked up, Adora.”</p>
<p>Catra looked small. Defeated. Adora thought she even looked sad. Her stomach was churning. Before she could respond, the dean waddled back into the room. </p>
<p>“And these,” he said, handing them each a credit card, “can be used to expense whatever else you might need. Coffee. Supplies. Anything.” </p>
<p>They thanked him. </p>
<p>“And really,” he continued, “that’s everything. Please enjoy the rest of your day, and I will see you at AdClub later.” He smiled at them again. </p>
<p>Catra got up first and left the room without looking back. Adora thanked the dean again and started walking down the hallway. Her guilt was worsening with every step. Yeah. That was fucked up. And she was starting to realize why. </p>
<p>Friday night wasn’t just sex for Catra. It had been something more. A lot more. Adora pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping to relieve some of the tension. Adora wasn’t sure what the night together had meant to her, but she knew she would be lying if she said she hadn’t felt anything. </p>
<p>She pulled out her phone and texted Bow.</p>
<p>WTF. I know you knew Catra is the other alumni mentor… why didn’t you tell me?<br/>10:17 am</p>
<p>As Adora exited the building, Catra was waiting outside, looking at the ground. </p>
<p>“Catra--” </p>
<p>“Adora it’s fine.” she snapped. Her eyes were cold, but shining with unshed tears. “We have a job to do here. We’re gonna do what we need to do this week. Be professional. And then we’ll go our separate ways.”</p>
<p>Catra turned away, “You won’t have to see me again.”</p>
<p>“Catra, I’m sorry.” Adora’s voice broke. “I was just freaking out--”</p>
<p>“I said it’s fine,” Catra said quietly. “I see how it is.”  And with that, she walked away. Leaving Adora on the sidewalk, more anguished than ever. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Catra had put on a brave face for the AdClub meeting, but she was still feeling defeated by the time it ended. This was so not her. She hated moping around. She was supposed to be the unbreakable badass; the one that never cried, or let anyone see her down. </p>
<p>Friday night had been a dream come true -- until Adora left her. It took Catra back to when they broke up; when she felt broken and alone. It felt like she had reopened a wound that just healed. </p>
<p>But Catra supposed it was her fault for misreading the situation. Adora didn’t care about her. She just wanted sex. </p>
<p>Now they were in an Uber together, on their way to dinner. Both of them were looking out the window so they didn’t have to see each other. It was quiet. But that was alright with Catra. </p>
<p>They pulled up to the restaurant and the driver let them out. The dean told them they would be dining at the finest restaurants all week and he hadn’t been kidding. The Blue was a 5-star seafood and steak restaurant on the riverfront.</p>
<p>They were seated outside and the view was so breathtaking that Catra gasped when she saw it. The river was gleaming underneath the sunset. They were embraced by a warm, gentle breeze. </p>
<p>As Catra was reading her menu, she could see Adora peek up at her every now and then. She was biting her lip like she always did when she was anxious. After a while, it was starting to get on Catra’s nerves.</p>
<p>“Spit it out.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Whatever it is you’re dying to say,” Catra said, “Clearly you want to.”</p>
<p>Adora scowled and then looked nervous. </p>
<p>“I want to talk about Friday night.”</p>
<p>“Adora, really it’s fine. You don’t owe me an explanation.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I do,” Adora said seriously. </p>
<p>Catra sighed, “Then the floor is yours.”</p>
<p>“I meant it when I said it’s complicated. And before you roll your eyes, please hear me out.” <br/>She took a deep breath. Catra wanted to roll her eyes at how melodramatic Adora was being. But since she asked so nicely...</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to leave. Really. But I was freaking out.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Catra asked, exasperated. </p>
<p>“Because… I realized how much I still cared about you.”</p>
<p>The air around Catra felt colder. She wrapped her arms around herself. </p>
<p>“And caring about you feels dangerous. It feels like I’m not supposed to.”</p>
<p>Catra’s throat felt tight. Adora continued. </p>
<p>“I’ve just been angry for so long. I don’t know what to do with these feelings anymore.”</p>
<p>She looked away. </p>
<p>“And I thought if I stayed, eventually we’d both end up hurt.”</p>
<p>Catra smiled weakly. </p>
<p>“You’re probably right.”</p>
<p>She didn’t want to admit it. But the truth was that there wasn’t a guarantee that Catra would never hurt Adora again. It was in her nature. Sure, she’d gotten much better than she’d been years ago, but what if she got in a bad way again? She’d hurt Adora so much before, and she never wanted to do that again. </p>
<p>And clearly, Adora was capable of hurting Catra, too. </p>
<p>“Maybe we’re better off keeping it like this,” Catra said coldly.</p>
<p>“Maybe.” Adora agreed, though her eyes looked pained. <br/>The conversation stopped as the waiter appeared to get their order.</p>
<p>For the most part, they ate in silence. But the awkwardness was too much for Catra and she knew that Adora was probably internalizing everything like always. She figured it was up to her to ease the tension. </p>
<p>“There were a lot more students than I realized.” She said, “The dean mentioned a club, not an army.”</p>
<p>Out of the corner of her eyes, Catra could feel Adora analyzing her. </p>
<p>“I don’t remember the club ever being that big, do you?”</p>
<p>Catra snorted. </p>
<p>“I was never nerdy enough to join the club.”</p>
<p>Adora rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“Right. Excuse me, I don’t know how I ever could forget how cool you were.”</p>
<p>“Ahem. Still am.”</p>
<p>“True.”</p>
<p>Catra was shocked at how easy it was for them to talk to each other once they’d gotten past the initial awkwardness. The rest of the dinner passed with conversation that was much more lighthearted, though there was still a lingering sadness in the air. The waiter appeared with boxes to pack up their food. </p>
<p>“Your meal is, of course, already paid for. Thank you for dining with us.”</p>
<p>“Sheesh, this must be what it’s like to live in the lap of luxury. Nothing too different for a Horde Prime employee though, I’m sure.”</p>
<p>Adora rolled her eyes but smiled.</p>
<p>“Actually, you’re right. I’ve gotten pretty used to the decadent meals, box seats, and fancy watches. Our clients and vendors would probably give us their own children if we asked.”</p>
<p>Fancy watches, huh? Catra looked at Adora’s wrist, expecting to see a diamond Rolex or some high-tech Apple 3000. But instead, she saw that Adora was wearing the same watch that Catra had given her for their first Christmas as a couple. It wasn’t anything glamorous. Just something small and simple that Catra could afford.</p>
<p>It took a second for Adora to notice where Catra’s gaze was, but when she did she flushed with embarrassment. </p>
<p>“I uh -- just always liked this one better. It’s much more my style.”</p>
<p>Catra smirked. “Yeah, you never were the luxury type even though you practically grew up in a mega-mansion.” But Catra’s heart was swelling against her will. Her Adora wasn’t as gone as she thought she was. And with time, maybe she’d come back to her. </p>
<p>When Catra got back to her hotel, she knew she had two options. </p>
<p>The first was to keep Adora at an arm's-length; to keep their relationship strictly professional and forget about her when they parted.</p>
<p>The second was to try and at least be friends; to make peace with what time they had left. </p>
<p>The latter was scary to Catra. She didn’t think she could stand to be brave enough to open up again only to be beaten down. But the first choice made her sad. It felt wrong. </p>
<p>She got into bed and sighed. Oh Adora, what am I going to do with you?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter Thirteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora was basking in the sun, trying to remember the last time she’d had a chance to just...relax. </p>
<p>Clippers park was where she used to spend nearly all her free time when she was a student. In fact, she was sitting in the very same spot. It felt so nice. The sunshine. The air. The breeze. She missed this, and even though she was perfectly content sitting there, an ache filled her chest. It was because she could feel this time slipping through her hands like grains of sand. Before she knew it, this week would end and she would be back to work. And back to 80-hour weeks, and late-nights, and meeting after meeting. </p>
<p>And always returning to an empty apartment. A penthouse apartment, sure, but perpetually empty. </p>
<p>Adora sighed heavily and then sat up, rummaging through her bag. Earlier that morning, she’d stopped by the school’s art store to pick up some basic supplies. Today, she was determined to create again. Not for a job or for a client; this was just for herself. </p>
<p>Across her picnic blanket, she laid out a palette of watercolor paints, a few brushes, and a small sketchbook from the store. Holding her breath, she dipped the brush into the paint and hovered it over the paper. Leaning forward, she swept it across the page. She almost cried. It was so satisfying. Why had it taken her so long to get back to something that she loved so much? </p>
<p>Her heart ached as she painted, in a bittersweet, melancholic way. She thought about all the things she’d left behind. All the lost time. </p>
<p>As a teenager, she used to dream of becoming a freelance artist and designer. But her parents scolded her for having such “primitive ambitions.” That’s no way to make money. They said. And she listened, following the more corporate route instead. </p>
<p>“Hey, Adora.”</p>
<p>Adora had been so entranced with painting, she hadn’t even noticed that Catra was in front of her. Last night’s dinner had been...nice. It was nice to have someone to talk to. </p>
<p>Still, Adora was wary. Catra hadn’t been too happy with Adorayesterday. Adora deserved that, of course. </p>
<p>“Hey, how'd you find me?” </p>
<p>“Oh come on, Adora. We used to spend hours in this spot. I was hoping you’d be here.”</p>
<p>Adora knit her eyebrows together.</p>
<p>“Were you…looking for me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, idiot.” Catra sat down next to her. “I’ve been thinking…”</p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>“Listen, I can’t speak for you. But, I’ve missed you. And I don’t know what we are, or if we should be anything. But for now, for the rest of this week, I figured we could at least be friends again. Plus, I know I’ll be pissed at myself for eternity if I missed this opportunity to spend time with you.”</p>
<p>Adora was stunned. She couldn’t explain it, but ever since Friday night, she could feel herself changing. Her anger lessening. Her outlook becoming brighter. </p>
<p>She missed Catra too. And seeing how much Catra had changed over the past 4 years, it was hard to be mad at her when it was pretty clear that she wasn’t the same person anymore. She had gotten better.</p>
<p>“You wanna be my friend?” Adora smirked. </p>
<p>Catra rolled her eyes and shoved Adora,</p>
<p>“Of course I do. You’re pretty damn cool.”</p>
<p>Adora blushed ever so slightly, but said,</p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking a lot too.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” Catra mimicked her.</p>
<p>“Even though I’ve been holding a grudge for a while, I never really gave up on you. I just knew you needed to get better on your own. But I think it’s time I let the grudge go.”</p>
<p>Catra’s eyes widened. </p>
<p>“Really?” She asked softly.</p>
<p>“Yes, idiot.”</p>
<p>Catra sighed, but a second later she tackled Adora in a hug. She was confused for a second, but then hugged her back. </p>
<p>“I’ve missed you too,” Adora said. </p>
<p>They broke apart, and Catra was beaming at her.</p>
<p>“Don’t wet your pants, Weaver,” Adora said. Catra laughed, and then looked at Adora’s spread of supplies on the blanket. </p>
<p>“It’s good to see you’re painting again. When’s the last time you’ve done something like this?”</p>
<p>“Probably the last time I was here.”</p>
<p>“Adora!” Catra scolded her, “You need to make time for yourself. You’re gonna burn out before you’re 40.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Adora said quietly “I just don’t know what to do.”</p>
<p>“Were you really serious about leaving the industry?”</p>
<p>Adora huffed.</p>
<p>“No. I’m all talk. It’s a nice idea, but I don’t think I ever could.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Catra asked. “Seriously, what’s stopping you?”</p>
<p>“I-- I don’t know,” Adora said quietly. </p>
<p>“Well, as your friend, I can tell you’re not a happy camper. No one’s making you stay in Portland. You don’t even like it there either.”</p>
<p>“It’s just more complicated than that.” Adora scowled. </p>
<p>Catra sighed. “It’s probably a lot simpler than you think.”</p>
<p>Adora wasn’t sure what to say. It all felt so complex in her mind. Everything felt so fixed -- her job, her life, her home. And changing it, changing any part of it, felt radical. </p>
<p>“Bow was right you know,” Catra said casually, looking away, “You probably would like San Diego. The sunshine” She gestured to the blue sky above them, “and the art scene is great too. You could visit me sometime, and see it for yourself.” She picked at a blade of grass. “If you wanted to, of course.” She added.</p>
<p>“You want me to visit you?”</p>
<p>Catra blushed,<br/>“I mean, not just to see me. I think it’d be good for you.” Adora smirked. “Alright fine, and I’ve been dying to show you around for a while. I’ve always felt that you’d like it.”</p>
<p>Adora started painting again, smiling to herself. </p>
<p>“Then we’ll have to put something on the books.”</p>
<p>Catra laid on her stomach on the blanket.</p>
<p>“I forgot how nice this place is.” She closed her eyes. “Before I fall asleep, do you have your itinerary with you?”</p>
<p>Adora pulled out the packet of paper from her bag and handed it to Catra.</p>
<p>“Nice. We’ve got a few hours until we’re joining the 5:30 class, then we have a few meetings with a handful of students. Dinner at 8.” She handed the packet back to Adora and curled up again. As she started to drift off, she looked back at Adora,</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t actually ask. Do you mind that I’m here?”</p>
<p>Adora smiled, “Not at all.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tonight’s restaurant was Treehouse, a trendy but classy rooftop restaurant and bar. <br/>“That was a busy day. I’d say we deserve a drink.” Said Catra grinning wickedly, examining the drink menu.</p>
<p>It had been busy. That much was true. They had spent a few hours at the park and after getting changed, spent the rest of the afternoon in various classes or meetings.  Adora had really enjoyed this whole mentoring gig. Talking with students, seeing their designs and novel ideas were like a breath of fresh air to her. It was as if she was getting a glimpse into her own past, when the world was still open and exciting. It was energizing, but it was making her restless. </p>
<p>“Whatcha thinking about?” Catra asked. Adora’s eyes refocused on Catra.</p>
<p>“Oh. I don’t know. It’s just been fun spending so much time with the students.” She laughed nervously, “I feel like an old witch stealing energy from the youth.”</p>
<p>Catra smiled, “I can see that. There’s that spark in your eyes.”</p>
<p>“A spark?” Adora asked skeptically.</p>
<p>“Yes! When you were wrapped up in your art or projects, you’d have this joyful, almost crazy look.” Catra said enthusiastically. “It was kinda cute.” She added quietly.</p>
<p>Adora crossed her arms, “I looked crazy? And that was cute to you?” </p>
<p>“Maybe crazy isn’t the right word. I guess you could say you were just really passionate.”</p>
<p>Adora snorted. “Yeah, I suppose so. I haven’t been like that in a while though.” She finished sadly. </p>
<p>“You know that girl still exists, right?” Catra said gently. “You can always get back to her.”</p>
<p>Adora’s eyes looked sad but she gave Catra a small smile. “I’m trying.”</p>
<p>The waiter appeared and took their drink orders. They both opted for Moscow mule’s. Adora looked around at the cityscape surrounding them. Night had already fallen so the lights from all buildings glowed softly around them. <br/>“Can I ask you something?” Catra asked softly. Adora was alarmed by how serious Catra seemed all of the sudden. </p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“What happened...when I would leave you alone at the house?”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Adora said quietly, her mood falling immediately. Generally, she tried to avoid thinking about it. Every time she did she just felt anger and pain. </p>
<p>“Please, tell me. And be honest.” Catra said, her voice shaking. </p>
<p>“Well…” Adora began weakly, “It was a lot of nothing.”</p>
<p>Catra stared.</p>
<p>“You know I’ve always been a little anxious. Well, my anxiety got completely out of control. It was paralyzing. And when you were gone it would get so bad, I couldn’t do anything when you were gone.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I mean, anything-- literally anything -- was too much for me. I would try to fill the time when you were gone with TV, or books, or painting, but my brain would go into overdrive. The stimulation of anything was too much. Even music was too much.” </p>
<p>Catra was silent, but her eyes looked empty.</p>
<p>“So I did nothing. I would sit by the window all fucking day waiting for you.” Adora looked off into the city beneath her. </p>
<p>“It got unbearable eventually. I was just so anxious and scared all the time.”</p>
<p>“Scared of what?” Catra croaked.</p>
<p>“Scared that you were in jail, or cheating on me, or dead -- overdosed in an alleyway or some shit. All day, all I saw were those visions. It got really bad.”</p>
<p>Adora looked at Catra, pain all over her face. </p>
<p>“There was something I never told you about myself.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“When I was younger, 13 or 14 or so… I was in a really bad place and I would… hurt myself.”</p>
<p>A tear ran down Catra’s face. </p>
<p>“My parents found out and they sent me away to some feel-good, hippy camp. After time, I got better and I promised myself that I would never do that again. That I would never hurt myself again. And I was good on that promise for a long time. The desire almost went away completely until -- “</p>
<p>“Until I left you at home.” Catra sobbed.</p>
<p>Adora nodded. </p>
<p>“I fought it for a long time. A surprisingly long time actually. But one night, the last night, I caved.”</p>
<p>Silence. </p>
<p>“I broke my promise.” Now Adora was crying. “when I realized what I had done, I woke up. I knew that I needed to leave.” Adora’s voice was dry. “And then I left that night.”</p>
<p>Adora shivered as the wind picked up. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry I left you. I never wanted to.” Adora said in a whisper that was barely audible.</p>
<p>“Adora…” Catra looked lost, her eyes looked tortured. “I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry… I shouldn’t have left you alone.”</p>
<p>“Why did you?” Adora’s voice was cold. </p>
<p>“I...I don’t know. I wasn’t myself.”</p>
<p>“I know that.” Adora said, “The drugs, the drinking, they turned you into someone else. By the end, I knew you were gone. By why did you start? We were happy.”<br/>Catra sobbed again.</p>
<p>“Because I knew I wasn’t good for you.”</p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>“I… It was so clear to me. How talented you were and how much I was bringing you down.”</p>
<p>“You were the best thing to ever happen to me.”</p>
<p>Catra blanched.</p>
<p>“No. I wasn’t Adora.” </p>
<p>Neither of them spoke for a while. </p>
<p>“I didn’t think I was good enough for you and I didn’t know what to do about it. I wanted to talk about it with you, I really did. But I didn’t know how. Up until that point, I’d always run from my problems. So it started with me thinking that the less time I spent with you the better.”</p>
<p>Adora bit her lip.</p>
<p>“And honestly, Adora, you probably remember the rest of it better than I do. I just remember hanging out with these new people over that one summer, trying Xanax and cocaine for the first time… and suddenly I was drinking entire bottles… going out every night. I don’t know how I’m still here.”</p>
<p>Adora looked away, cringing. Catra wanted to reach out, to comfort her, but she kept her hands to herself.</p>
<p>“It was rough. And I never thought you’d leave me, so when you did, I spiraled worse than ever.”</p>
<p>“Can you blame me?” Adora asked coldly. </p>
<p>“Not now, Adora. But back then? I wasn’t thinking straight and I got worse. I almost didn’t graduate. And I definitely didn’t get an internship that summer.”</p>
<p>Adora glared at her hands. </p>
<p>“This hurts me to say, Adora, but I think you leaving was good for both of us.”</p>
<p>Adora snapped her head up, but before she could say anything, Catra continued, </p>
<p>“It was fucking awful not being with you. But it was like you said, I needed to get better on my own.”</p>
<p>She looked at Adora with pleading eyes.</p>
<p>“Eventually, I hit rock bottom; I took a long, hard look at myself and I realized I was being pathetic. I got help. I Stopped all the drugs and I even stopped drinking for a while too. I worked on my portfolio and applied everywhere I could. Eventually, Matelo took a chance on me. I moved to San Diego and started over.”</p>
<p>Adora wasn’t sure what to say. But somewhere deep inside, she could feel a knot slowly loosening. Even after they had broken up, the anxiety over whether or not Catra was okay had never disappeared. It just throbbed in the background.</p>
<p>“I’m happy you’re better.” She said softly.</p>
<p>Catra took Adora’s hand. “So am I. And I made that same promise to myself too, that I would not go back there again.”</p>
<p>Adora’s eyes widened, “But what if you do? I broke my promise, you could break yours.”</p>
<p>“You’re right. I could. I’ll be honest, when work gets hard or I mess up, I itch for those habits. But I know that I hurt people when I do that.” She paused. “I know that I hurt you. And I never want to do that again.”</p>
<p>Adora ran her thumb across the back of Catra’s hand. It felt like a weight was being carried off her. Slowly, but she definitely felt lighter.</p>
<p>They were silent for a while, eating their meal when it came out, staring in the city below them. Neither of them wanted to leave yet, so they moved from a table to a couch in a lounge area. Even though they weren’t speaking, they were comfortable with each other again. Just sitting there, watching the city. </p>
<p>“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?” Catra whispered.</p>
<p>Adora thought about it. “I know I’d like to.”</p>
<p>Catra stared.</p>
<p>“I’m starting to.” Adora continued. Catra’s eyes filled with tears. Adora wiped them away.</p>
<p>“Can I try something?” She asked softly. Catra looked up at her.</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>Slowly, Adora leaned in. Catra held her breath. Their lips met. </p>
<p>Obviously, this wasn’t the first time they kissed. It wasn’t even the first time they kissed since being apart. But this time, when they kissed, their walls were down. They allowed themselves to feel something again. Now, there was more.</p>
<p>Catra curled her hand around the back of Adora’s neck, leaning into her more. Adora sighed and they broke apart, staring into each other’s eyes. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” she said in a whispered voice, “I know you said we’re probably better off apart. But I want you in my life.”</p>
<p>Catra curled into Adora’s chest, silently crying. Adora just held her, kissing the top of her head. </p>
<p>“No one’s ever said anything like that to me before. You’re the first person who’s ever made me feel good about myself. I’m so much better when I’m with you. I just never thought that the opposite could be true.”</p>
<p>“Shhh.” Adora whispered into her hair, “You’re making me better right now.”</p>
<p>Catra looked up at her with wide, vulnerable eyes.</p>
<p>“Stay with me tonight. Please.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Yes. No sex. Just… stay with me.”</p>
<p>Adora hugged her tighter. <br/>“Of course.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>They stopped at Adora’s hotel so she could grab of few of her things, and then they made their way over to Catra’s. By the time they got there, it was well past midnight and they were both tired. </p>
<p>“What do you wanna do tomorrow? Before that 2 ‘o clock class we’re visiting.” Adora asked, yawning.</p>
<p>Catra smiled to herself. </p>
<p>“I don’t know, brunch?” </p>
<p>Adora smiled like an idiot, unbuttoning the shirt she’d been wearing all day. </p>
<p>“Absolutely.”</p>
<p>Catra gawked as Adora took off the shirt and started to fold it. Oblivious as always. But she noticed when Catra was still staring by the time she’d taken off her bra. </p>
<p>“Hey, you said no sex.”</p>
<p>Catra flushed. “I know. I’m starting to regret saying that.”But she looked away and started to undress. </p>
<p>They climbed into bed -- fitting so perfectly together as if not a single day had passed. Adora thought her heart was going to explode, feeling Catra laying against her chest again. She kissed her head. Catra turned around and kissed Adora softly. </p>
<p>“Thank you for staying.” She whispered. </p>
<p>“Thank you for asking me to,” Adora whispered back. </p>
<p>Catra turned off the light. They laid there for a while, neither one of them sleeping yet. Just enjoying the warmth of the other. Slowly, Adora drifted off into a peaceful sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter Fourteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as Catra woke up the next morning, her heart raced and she flipped over wildly. She calmed -- Adora was still there.</p>
<p>“Woah -- are you okay?” Adora asked sleepily.</p>
<p>Catra kissed her forehead.</p>
<p>“Yes, go back to sleep.” </p>
<p>Adora looked confused but closed her eyes again. Seconds later, she was already snoring. Catra peeked at the clock on the bedside table. Only 7:15 am. But Catra felt wired. She knew that moving around would wake Adora up again -- she had always been a light sleeper. So she just laid there, watching Adora. Like a creep.</p>
<p>Adora looked younger when she wasn’t carrying so much tension. Catra had to resist the urge to kiss her. </p>
<p>Around 8 o’clock, Adora’s eyes fluttered open and she grinned at Catra.</p>
<p>“Hey, Catra,” she said huskily. “Did you sleep last night or have you been watching me the whole time?”</p>
<p>“Of course I slept last night. That was the best sleep I’ve gotten in a long time.”</p>
<p>Adora frowned. “Me too.” </p>
<p>“Listen, I know you said brunch, but I’m starving, can we get breakfast now?”</p>
<p>Adora just laughed and got out of bed. Catra felt dizzy as she watched her stand up and stretch. As she lifted her arms up, her shirt raised up enough to showcase some skin. That back… those legs… in those sweatpants. Catra wasn’t sure why she had requested no sex last night. Maybe it was because she wanted to know if Adora would still want to stay with her. But her rule was quickly going to become yes sex. </p>
<p>Adora caught her staring and smirked. </p>
<p>“Come on, get dressed. I know a place.”</p>
<p>Half an hour later, they pulled up to the same Waffle House they used to frequent every week. This place looked like it hadn’t changed in 20 years let alone 4. They sat in the same booth they used to claim every time they had gone here -- Friday night or Sunday morning. </p>
<p>Catra felt giddy and was having a hard time sitting still. </p>
<p>“What’s going on with you?” Adora asked, but she had a playful glint in her eyes too. </p>
<p>“Same thing as you.” </p>
<p>Adora grinned. “It’s going to be a good day, huh?” </p>
<p>“Absolutely.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Theoretically, they could have spent their free time out in the world, taking advantage of the city and sights. </p>
<p>Instead, Catra drove them back to the hotel. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna hop in the shower, wanna hop in?” Catra asked nonchalantly as they walked into the room.</p>
<p>She wished she had a camera to take a picture of Adora’s reaction. Her mouth popped open and she was flushing a violent rosy color. </p>
<p>“Uh -- I, Catra if you’re trying to not have sex, that’s not a good idea.”</p>
<p>Catra smirked and turned around.</p>
<p>“It’s a new day, Adora.” And she stepped into the bathroom.</p>
<p>She was already in the water, washing her face when she heard the curtain open and Adora step in behind her. Catra thought she was prepared to act all casual and confident, but when she turned around she felt weak. </p>
<p>She stepped aside so Adora could get in the water. </p>
<p>“Thanks.” She said, her voice low and throaty. </p>
<p>Catra tried to steady her racing heart as she reached for the shampoo. The air was electric between them, and when Catra saw Adora’s face, she knew that she must have been feeling the same way too. </p>
<p>“So when you said that it’s a new day --”</p>
<p>“I want you to make love to me, Adora.” </p>
<p>Adora’s pupils dilated and she bit her lip. </p>
<p>“Not here. But I really need you.”</p>
<p>“Holy shit, Catra.” Adora said breathlessly, “I don’t think I can make it all the way through this shower.”</p>
<p>Catra laughed, “Well you better. Afterward, I’m all yours.” Then she squeezed the shampoo into her hands with delicious, deliberate slowness. Staring into Adora’s eye’s the whole time. </p>
<p>Adora shook her head, smirking. “I can’t stand it when you tease me.” But she turned away, looking for the soap. </p>
<p>Just as Adora was washing the last of the shampoo out of her hair, Catra trailed a finger across Adora’s back. She shuddered. </p>
<p>“Catra.” She breathed</p>
<p>Catra didn’t know how much longer she could wait either. She wanted this beautiful, strong woman now. They looked at each other and collided. Lips crushing together as the water fell onto them. Catra could feel her breathing getting heavier as Adora put a hand around her waist. </p>
<p>Catra trailed her tongue across Adora’s lower lip and the blonde girl groaned, opening her mouth wider. Their tongue’s met, as Adora’s hands felt up her chest and brushed her thumb across Catra’s breast. Catra arched into her hand, moaning. </p>
<p>“Bed. Now.” She whispered. </p>
<p>They got out of the shower, and hastily dried off. They barely made it to the hallway when Adora kissed her against the wall, leaning into her. Adora’s hand trailed over her body, slowly moving from her waist to her thighs.</p>
<p>Swiftly, she picked Catra up and leaned her against the wall, still kissing her. Catra shuddered as she felt Adora's muscles under her hands. Her legs were wrapped around Adora's waist.  Adora turned them around and walked over to the bed. With one arm hooked around Catra’s waist, she lowered them down until they were vertical and Adora was on top. </p>
<p>“You want me to make love to you, Catra?” Adora asked breathlessly. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Catra said, ”Slowly.”</p>
<p>Adora bit her lip and then leaned forward to kiss Catra’s neck. She closed her eyes in ecstasy. Adora trailed kisses along her neck and jawline until she came back to Catra’s mouth. They kissed; slowly and sweetly. </p>
<p>Lightly, Catra’s nails traced along Adora’s toned back and she felt goosebumps race across her skin. </p>
<p>Adora’s hand cupped Catra’s face and she deepened the kiss. Her other hand gripped Catra’s waist. </p>
<p>They were still face-to-face when Catra’s hand drifted from Adora’s back to her thighs. Adora shifted her weight so that she was laying on her side, still facing Catra. She mirrored Catra’s actions and led her hand from Catra’s face, down her front, all the way to the apex of her thighs.</p>
<p>They touched each other at the same time. Both of them circling their fingers with deliberate slowness, eyes locked.</p>
<p>Catra could tell that Adora was different from when they hooked up on Friday. She seemed more present -- more alive. The way she was looking at Catra now… Catra moaned; because of Adora's expert hands but also because of how intensely happy she felt. </p>
<p>Adora added more pressure and so did Catra. They were still touching each other slowly, yet Catra could feel the aching in her belly already throbbing. And judging by the look on Adora’s face, she was feeling the same way.</p>
<p>Adora leaned forward and kissed Catra. They picked up their speed, pressing their bodies closer together. Catra was getting close, she could feel it. Her back was arching and her breathing was getting choppier. </p>
<p>Catra found her release first and she moaned loudly into Adora’s neck as she spiraled into oblivion. But her hands did not stop. After watching Catra unravel in her arms, Adora yelled Catra’s name as she orgasmed. </p>
<p>They held each other in their arms. Their breathing was still uneven. After a few minutes of recovery, Adora looked at Catra and smiled shyly.</p>
<p>“Hi.”</p>
<p>Catra laughed, “Hi, yourself.”</p>
<p>Adora nuzzled into Catra. And Catra held her tight in her arms. At this moment, there wasn’t a single thing that she would change. Everything was right.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter Fifteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There's a typo in this chapter that I left ON PURPOSE :))))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hours passed as they stayed in bed, holding one another; laughing, and sharing stories. Eventually, Adora glanced at the clock.</p><p>“Shit, Catra. We’re gonna be late.”</p><p>Catra laughed. </p><p>“Relax. We’re only 10 minutes away from the building. We’ll be fine.”</p><p>Adora frowned. “You know I don’t like being late.” She pouted.</p><p>Catra cupped her hands around her face, “I know, and when you pout like this it makes me want to kiss you.”</p><p>Adora raised an eyebrow and then pouted again. Catra laughed and kissed her. </p><p>Together, they got ready. Catra peeked at Adora as she finishing buttoning up her shirt. Adora caught her and raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Catra grinned mischievously. “You just look so hot in your official, bad-bish business clothes.”</p><p>“Official, bad-bish business clothes?”</p><p>“Yes, the button-ups, the blazers. Even the slacks. They get me every time.”</p><p>“Okay, Weaver. We need to get you outside, I think you need some fresh air.” But Adora smiled to herself, pleased with the compliment. </p><p>At 2 o’clock precisely, they walked into the communications building, looking for the room they were supposed to be in that day.  Eventually, they found the right door and pushed it open.</p><p>“Professor Hordak!” Adora gasped. </p><p>“Hello, Adora and Catra.” He said warmly. “It’s good to see you again.” he gestured to two chairs near the front of the classroom. “Please, take a seat. The students are so excited to pick your brains.”</p><p>Professor Hordak cleared his throat and faced the students, who were gawking at them like they were celebrities. </p><p>“Class, meet Adora Gayskull and Catra Weaver. Graduates who, what seems like only yesterday were sitting in your seats.”</p><p>Catra beamed at the students in front of her. They all seemed so...young. One of the students had short blue hair and was sitting in the back of the class, but she wasn’t gawking like the rest of the students. Instead, she was regarding them with a sort of cool interest. Every now and then she’d look away to doodle in her journal.</p><p>“We’ll be going over our usual material for the first half of the class, and then we can have our guests here answer any questions you might have.”</p><p>The room dimmed as the professor turned off the lights so they could all see the screen in the front of the class. Peeking at Adora, Catra could see that the girl’s eyes were wide. She’s enjoying this. </p><p>“Today we’ll be talking about the importance of an insight. It was in the chapter you were supposed to read ahead of today’s class. Who can tell me what an insight is, and why it’s crucial to your creative concept?”</p><p>Crickets. Some of the students looked away or pretended to be busy writing something in their journals. The girl with the blue hair raised her hand. </p><p>“Yes, Frosta?”</p><p>“An insight, in this context, is part of the strategy that helps inform the creative execution. It is a universal, human truth.”</p><p>“Very good, and why should you always have an insight?”</p><p>“Having a good insight ahead of time will help you create work that people can actually relate to, instead of just making something for the sake of selling a product. It elevates the idea.”</p><p>“Excellent. And I have the perfect example for you all today. A project from former students who were in the very same Intro to Ad class that you all are in right now.”</p><p>Professor Hordak clicked around on his computer until he found the right file and opened it.<br/>
Catra and Adora both raised their eyebrows. It was their project. The first project they’d ever done together. </p><p>“They had the same project brief that you all have for your semester project; to create a campaign that has a clear insight and idea.”</p><p>For the next half an hour, Catra and Adora watched as Professor Hordak explained the idea of the project to the students like it was some award-winning campaign. There had been times when Adora had actually blushed at seeing some of her designs. The students looked awed, nodding along as Professor Hordak clicked through the presentation. Even the girl with the Blue hair looked mildly impressed. </p><p>Professor Hordak ended the presentation and cleared his throat. </p><p>“Now, if you have questions for the people who created this project, you can go ahead and ask them. Because they’re sitting right here.” He gestured to Catra and Adora. The classroom gasped and a second later a dozen hands shot in the air. </p><p>For the remainder of the class, Catra and Adora answered question after question. Some asked about their process, others asked about their inspiration. Frosta asked what it was like to work together.</p><p>“It was awesome,” Adora began, “Catra just had so many wild ideas.”</p><p>“And Adora always kept us on schedule. I don’t think we would have finished if it wasn’t for her.” Catra added.</p><p>“I always thought these two were an excellent team.” Professor Hordak said warmly. </p><p> </p><p>After a few more questions the class ended and the students started to filter out. </p><p>“Thank you for joining us today. It was lovely to see both of you again.” </p><p>“It was good seeing you too, Professor.” </p><p>Next up was a few rounds of portfolio reviews with some students, so they exited the class and started to look for the next room. When, they found that the blue-haired girl, Frosta, was already there. </p><p>“Hey, Frosta.” Adora greeted her. “We actually met at the career fair already. But now I’m excited to talk to you as a mentor instead of a recruiter.”</p><p>Since Frosta was an art director student, Catra let Adora take the lead. It was nice to sit back and watch Adora in her element. </p><p>Frosta took them through her portfolio. She was still in beginner classes, yet, her work was amazing. When she was presenting though, she seemed a good bit more nervous than when she was in the classroom. </p><p>With every piece, Adora had smart feedback that would help elevate Frosta’s portfolio even further. Catra would chime in every now and then, too. But for the most part, Adora was acting as an excellent mentor. </p><p>By the end of the session, Frosta was looking more confident in herself.</p><p>“It’s all really great, Frosta.” Adora began, “My biggest advice now, is to just make sure that you’re including pieces that you like.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Frosta asked.</p><p>“Well,” Adora scratched her forehead, “think about your ideal client work or project instead of projects that you know recruiters want to see. That way, when you end up working in the real world, hopefully, you’ll be doing work that you actually like.”</p><p>Frosta’s eyes widened as if she’d never considered that.</p><p>“None of the other professors really talk about that, but it seems so obvious now. Thank you.”<br/>
Her eyes looked bright and excited. Catra’s heart swelled, the young student reminded her of a younger Adora. And now with Adora’s advice, hopefully, she’d be much happier when she eventually joined the industry. </p><p>They wrapped up the review session and Frosta went to pack up her portfolio. </p><p>“Um, I hope this is okay for me to say.” Frosta said nervously, “but you two make a really cute couple.” </p><p>Adora flushed and looked taken aback. Catra just smiled and wrapped an arm around Adora, she winked at the blue-haired girl. </p><p>“Thanks, Frosta.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter Sixteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their week of mentoring was quickly coming to a close. Much quicker than Adora had anticipated. She could feel the anxiety growing in her stomach.</p>
<p>Yesterday had been their busiest day yet. They woke up early together at Adora’s hotel and had to speed over to the communications building so they could sit in an 8 am class. The rest of the day had passed quickly with back-to-back portfolio reviews all day.</p>
<p>Today was supposed to be much easier. Just a handful of more reviews and then a sendoff with the AdClub. But Adora was freaking out. </p>
<p>Their flights didn’t leave until early Sunday. But time was ticking away with every second that passed. And Adora didn’t want their time to end. She could see that clearly now -- that she didn’t want to go back to her old life or be without Catra. </p>
<p>“Hey, what’s wrong?” Catra asked gently, reaching out to hold Adora’s face. They’d been curled up together in Adora’s bed. </p>
<p>“Tomorrow is our last day.” Adora’s voice broke. That was all she had to say for Catra to understand. Her own face fell and she curled closer to Adora.</p>
<p>“I know.” She said quietly. </p>
<p>They held each other for a while. Their collective sadness was palpable in the air. </p>
<p>“Let’s make the most of it. Get through the rest of today and have a blast tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Adora smiled weakly. “We can make up for all the lost time.”</p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The AdClub sendoff was a bigger celebration than Adora thought it would be. A huge “THANK YOU” banner hung in the front of the room. Someone had set up a whole table of pizza, snacks, and drinks. Students and faculty alike were buzzing around the room, socializing. </p>
<p>Adora was watching Catra talk to a group of students when the dean approached her. </p>
<p>“We can’t thank you enough. The students really loved having you and their portfolios are already more sophisticated.”</p>
<p>He regarded her with a more calculated expression.</p>
<p>“You could be a great teacher, you know. If you ever got your master’s degree, we’d love to have you.”</p>
<p>Adora was so stunned she wasn’t sure what to say.</p>
<p>“Oh -- I, well thank you very much. That’s very kind of you to say.”</p>
<p>He beamed at her as he walked away.</p>
<p>“What was that all about?” Catra asked. </p>
<p>Adora jumped. Not realizing that Catra had just joined her side.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” Adora said, not sure why she wasn’t sharing what the Dean said. </p>
<p>“Well anyway, come on, there’s an art director student who wants to talk to you.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>A couple of hours passed and they departed the communications building as the sun was starting to set. </p>
<p>“So you know how the dean said that tonight they booked the fanciest restaurant for us tonight? The best of the best?” Catra asked as they walked to the car. </p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Well, I was thinking, what if we pass on that and just order room service instead?”</p>
<p>Adora grinned widely. “I think that sounds amazing.” That was exactly what Adora wanted to do. She loved eating out with Catra, but she didn’t want to be in public -- she just wanted to be alone with her. </p>
<p>Catra kissed her cheek. </p>
<p>Especially being in Adora’s hotel, the room service menu was probably just as fancy as the restaurant they would have gone to anyway. They ordered pizza.</p>
<p>“So what do you wanna do tomorrow?” Adora asked, spreading out on the couch. </p>
<p>“Oh, you and your schedules.” Catra rolled her eyes like she always did whenever Adora was trying to plan something. But then her eyes lit up. </p>
<p>“Let’s do everything. Wake up and just go. The beach. The park. The Pier. All of it.” </p>
<p>Adora smiled at her,</p>
<p>“Sure thing, Weaver.”</p>
<p>There was a knock at the door and Adora got up to collect the pizza from the hotel staff, leaving them a generous tip. </p>
<p>“Wanna watch Portrait of a Lady on Fire? You used to be obsessed with this movie.” Catra asked, flicking through the movie selections. </p>
<p>“Yes. Absolutely yes. Yes please.” Adora said, excitedly. She hadn’t watched that movie in forever. She used to watch it every week. </p>
<p>They curled up together on the couch, eating their pizza and watching the movie. Like it was no different than any other Friday night, instead of one of the last nights they had together. But with Catra in her arms, Adora didn’t feel quite as sad. She just wanted to enjoy this comforting feeling as long as possible.</p>
<p>Adora woke up hours later to the sound of running water in the bathroom. She looked around groggily. Had she really fallen asleep? The clock on the bedside table read: 9:30 pm. </p>
<p>The water shut off and a few minutes later Catra walked out with a towel wrapped around her. She smiled when she saw Adora.</p>
<p>“Hey there, sleepyhead.”</p>
<p>“You took a shower? Without me?” Adora pouted.</p>
<p>“I would have asked you to join me,” Catra laughed, “But you looked so peaceful, I could never dream of disturbing you.” </p>
<p>Adora huffed and stood up. She walked over to Catra and kissed her. Catra curled her hands in Adora’s hair. </p>
<p>Adora sighed but pulled away. </p>
<p>“I’m gonna hop in real quick. But we should continue this when I’m out.”</p>
<p>Catra raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Yeah? Well, don’t keep me waiting too long, princess.”</p>
<p>Adora was almost regretting her decision to shower first; she wanted Catra now. But a 5-minute shower couldn't hurt. </p>
<p>In the bathroom, she turned the shower on and didn’t even wait for it to heat up before walking in. Her mind was spinning as she washed her hair. Not just about Catra but everything in her life. Lately, everything had just felt so...right. And after Saturday, when she’d be going back to Portland and the life she didn’t want… well it just felt deeply wrong. </p>
<p>She turned off the water and toweled off. When she walked out of the bathroom her jaw dropped. </p>
<p>Catra was still naked, sitting casually on the bed, her legs slightly apart. When Catra saw the Adora was just standing there like an idiot, she walked over gracefully until she was standing in front of her. </p>
<p>Staring into Adora’s eyes, Catra lifted a finger under Adora’s jaw and lifted slightly to close her mouth. </p>
<p>“You’ve been topping me a lot lately.” She whispered seductively. “Now, it’s my turn.”</p>
<p>Adora thought she could have melted on the spot, but she still smirked. </p>
<p>“We’ll see.” She said. Catra’s eyes flashed and she laughed. </p>
<p>“Come on, idiot,” She dragged Adora towards the bed, “lay down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>They laid in bed for a while, holding each other, and breathing heavily. The music was still playing quietly in the background. </p>
<p>Catra looked up at Adora. </p>
<p>“I love you.” She said quietly. “I always will.”</p>
<p>Adora’s heart was buzzing. Those three words. Those three little words had a powerful effect on her. She wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. She looked at Catra with wonder in her eyes and said,</p>
<p>“I love you, too.” </p>
<p>They kissed again. It was gentle and sweet and they kissed until they were both crying. Catra curled into Adora’s chest. Wrapping her arms around her, Adora just kissed the top of her head. Neither of them said anything. Eventually, Catra drifted off to sleep. </p>
<p>Adora felt wired and her mind raced. Different thoughts were fighting for her attention. </p>
<p>It’s probably much simpler than you think.</p>
<p>You’d love San Diego. </p>
<p>You could be a great teacher. </p>
<p>What’s stopping you?</p>
<p>And suddenly, as if all the different pieces floating around in her brain fell into place, everything just clicked for her. And the clarity of knowing what she needed to do was so powerful, that she had to act on it now.</p>
<p>As gently as possible, so as to not wake Catra up, Adora crept out of bed and looked for her laptop. It took her a minute for her eyes to adjust to the bright light, but she typed away regardless. When she was done, she read the message over and over again furiously, editing a word or two, making sure that it all made sense. </p>
<p>Now she just needed courage. She looked back at Catra, who was still fast asleep. Curled up and beautiful. Taking a deep breath, Adora hovered her finger over the mousepad and clicked “send.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter Seventeen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Catra woke up to find that Adora was already staring at her, grinning like an idiot. Adora kissed her quickly.</p>
<p>“Well, good morning to you too,” Catra said.</p>
<p>“I only woke up a little bit ago, I promise. I’m just so excited. A whole day with you.”</p>
<p>Adora’s mood - so different from yesterday - was infectious. Catra sat up.</p>
<p>“Well, what are we waiting for?”</p>
<p>The first thing they did was drive to the same waffle house they ate at only a few days ago. As Adora was chowing down on her stack of waffles, Catra couldn’t help but examine her. </p>
<p>Something was...different. Yet, whatever it was, felt familiar. It was as if the Adora she had known all those years ago, her Adora was back and sitting in front of her. </p>
<p>Catra’s heart ached impossibly. She felt both so incredibly happy to see Adora grinning and laughing all morning, but she also felt devastated. Tomorrow they would be saying goodbye and who knows when they would see each other next. Maybe she’d lose Adora all over again. </p>
<p>But Catra was determined not to ruin Adora’s mood, so she smiled and laughed along with her. Reaching out to squeeze her hand every so often. </p>
<p>“What’s next?” Adora asked. Wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin. </p>
<p>“What do you want to do?” Catra asked.</p>
<p>Adora looked embarrassed.</p>
<p>“Okay, I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself and I made an itinerary for today--”</p>
<p>“An itinerary?” </p>
<p>Adora smiled sheepishly. “Yes, an itinerary. Okay, so next up, if you want, we can chill in the park for a few hours. Paint or write to our heart’s content. Maybe stop by the store to get some snacks?”</p>
<p>Catra was hardly listening. Really, she was just looking at Adora with such a feeling of warmth that she wouldn’t have cared if Adora scheduled them to hang out in a dumpster all day. As long as she was with Adora, Catra was happy.</p>
<p>“And after the park, an early dinner. And then I figured we could just hang out on the beach; watch the sunset and then the stars.”</p>
<p>Adora looked at Catra again, “How does that sound?”</p>
<p>Catra leaned forward and kissed Adora.</p>
<p>“It sounds perfect.” </p>
<p>Adora glowed. </p>
<p>“Amazing. Because I have a surprise for the beach.”</p>
<p>“A surprise? What is it?” Catra asked, scandalized. </p>
<p>Adora rolled her eyes, “It’s a surprise. You’ll find out on the beach.”<br/>Catra crossed her arms but knew she wouldn’t be fooling anyone. She was grinning like a fool. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The sun was already starting to set as Adora drove them to the beach. Every so often, Catra would peek at Adora. She was still wearing that same dumb grin. It had actually gotten worse throughout the day. Whatever this surprise was, Catra was worried that Adora was going to explode before she told her. </p>
<p>Catra reflected on the afternoon. Simply put, it had been wonderful. After breakfast, they’d quickly gone to the store. Catra picked out way too many snacks for two people and they laid in the park, underneath the sun all day. It was bliss. Adora painted and Catra scribbled in her journal, just like the old days. Sometimes they’d laugh and talk loudly. Other times, there was an easy silence between them. </p>
<p>But their perfect day was ending and Catra had to fight tears, knowing that she would be saying goodbye to Adora the very next morning. She took Adora’s hand but looked away, trying to keep her focus on the time they had left. </p>
<p>Adora rolled out a blanket on the warm sand and set the cooler down next to them. They sat down next to each other and for a second they forgot themselves -- the sky was so beautiful. A perfect gradient from blue to rosy pink. The billowing clouds were a deep purple. </p>
<p>But Catra couldn’t be distracted so easily. She kissed Adora’s cheek.</p>
<p>“Alright, Grayskull. Spill it. What’s the surprise?”</p>
<p>Adora just smirked and reached into the cooler. She brought out a bottle of champagne and two plastic flutes. </p>
<p>“Champagne? When did you get that?” Catra asked. </p>
<p>“When I sent you to get the snacks.” </p>
<p>Catra took the bottle and examined it. Judging by how elegant the design of the label was, Catra figured it was expensive. She thought it was a great surprise and a wonderful way to cap off the night. </p>
<p>“I love champagne. Thank you.” Catra beamed at Adora. </p>
<p>Adora rolled her eyes, “That’s not the surprise. I brought it because we’re celebrating.”</p>
<p>With both her hands, she popped the bottle and titled it away so the foam spilled on the sand. Then she poured the drink in each of the two flutes. </p>
<p>“Celebrating...what?” Catra asked, arching an eyebrow.</p>
<p>Adora beamed at her for a second and then said,</p>
<p>“To new beginnings. I’m moving to San Diego.”</p>
<p>Her mouth fell open in astonishment.</p>
<p>For Catra, the world’s brightness and volume seemed to increase. There were so many different things that she wanted to say that she couldn’t say anything at all. But her heart was racing and she could feel her eyes stinging. She’s moving to San Diego? </p>
<p>She launched at Adora, kissing her intensely and crying. They broke apart, and Adora was crying too.</p>
<p>“What about your job?”</p>
<p>“I sent my two-week notice last night.”</p>
<p>“LAST NIGHT?” Catra yelped. “You mean to tell me that you’ve known you’d be moving to San Diego since last night and you only just now told me?”</p>
<p>Catra didn’t look that mad, so Adora just shrugged.</p>
<p>“I wanted to surprise you.”</p>
<p>They kissed again. They kissed for what felt like hours. By the time they broke apart again, the sky was an inky blue and filled with stars. </p>
<p>“What changed your mind?” Catra asked.</p>
<p>Adora looked at Catra thoughtfully. “Mostly you. I just -- I knew that I couldn’t lose you again.”</p>
<p>Catra felt her heart expand -- pushing out the walls she had been forging her whole life. </p>
<p>“Plus, you did make San Diego sound amazing. There’s that too.” Said Adora smugly. </p>
<p>“You’re going to love it.” </p>
<p>“There was also something else,” Adora said, “Something the dean said yesterday.”<br/> She paused.</p>
<p>“He said that I could be a good teacher.”</p>
<p>“You want to teach instead?” Catra thought it was a good idea. Adora had been amazing with the students all week. She really had a knack for it. </p>
<p>“Well,” Adora said slowly, “That I don’t know. Maybe. But just hearing those words made everything click. It made me realize that it’s something I probably could do. In fact, there are so many things out there I could do. I might even be pretty good at them too.”</p>
<p>“Hell yeah, you will be.” Catra said, grinning like crazy, “If there’s anyone who could be good at just about anything they do, it’s you, Adora.”</p>
<p>Adora blushed and looked away.</p>
<p>“So what do you think you’ll do for work then?”</p>
<p>Adora looked off at the water. </p>
<p>“I think I’m gonna do freelance work. Get back into art and design again. And see how it goes from there? I have a lot saved up so I’ll be okay for a while.”</p>
<p>“I can’t believe this is really happening,” Catra said, her throat swelling with emotion. “You’re gonna be in San Diego. OH MY GOD, there’s so many places I’m going to take you. There’s a park by my house that I’ve always thought you’d like and --”</p>
<p>Adora kissed her and Catra melted.</p>
<p>“I love you, Catra Weaver.”</p>
<p>“I love you, Adora Grayskull.” </p>
<p>They laid together on the blanket, looking up at the stars, talking about all the little things they had to look forward to. There were so many that their conversation didn’t end until almost one in the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They woke at dawn the next morning. Catra’s flight was much earlier than Adora’s, so Adora was driving her to the airport. Even though it was so early that the sun had barely risen, Adora felt absolutely wonderful. Buoyant even. </p>
<p>Her heart ached a little when she had to say goodbye to Catra. But it wasn’t too hard to reassure herself. After all, she’d be moving to the same city in two weeks.</p>
<p>Adora walked Catra to the security gate where they finally reached the point where they would have to part. They kissed for a while. When they broke apart, Catra had tears in her eyes. </p>
<p>“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Adora said softly, wiping a tear from Catra’s face.</p>
<p>She smiled through her tears and took Adora’s hands.  “I know it is. I can’t wait to see you again, but I’ll miss you every second until then.”</p>
<p>Adora kissed her hand. “Me too. Have a safe flight, baby.”</p>
<p>“I’ll see you soon?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely.” Adora grinned. </p>
<p>They kissed one last time, and Catra let go of Adora’s hands.<br/>
Adora waved and started to head back to her rental car. As she was driving back to her hotel to start packing up her things, she couldn't help but think, this is perfect. And she knew she was right. They would be together again soon. And then they would never be apart again. </p>
<p>Everything felt absolutely right.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THAT'S ALL FOLKS. I do plan on writing a lil epilogue at some point. </p>
<p>If you read all the way through, you're the real MVP :') Now, go write your own.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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